17 November, 2006

Hunting Widow

So, as of 5:30 tomorrow morning, I will officially be a hunting widow. It will be my first year and he comes home at night, but still. I have to entertain myself on a weekend day for the first time in months. Sad, I know.

Anyways, after being sick for the past two weeks, I am somewhat looking forward to having a couple of long days to relax and be creative. I think I am going to scrapbook, wedding plan, and probably sew a little bit. I'm thinking Christmas dress???

I also have to say that my kittens have been relatively good company. Daisy thinks that every little scrap needs to be hidden in the corner and that dishtowels complete her collection while Gatsby is either hearing mice or seeing spirits, but let me tell you, they are worth every minute of their nonsense!

Oh, and I've decided I need to move to San Diego. No, not because of the weather and yes, I know my fiance is here in Green Bay. However, one of my best friends in the whole wide world, they only person who truly understands the significance of the Angry Beavers and listening to Christmas music early, lives there. And I haven't seen her in years!!!!!! And she is baking Christmas goodies tonight! How sad is that??? Me, a hunting widow, missing quality Christmas time in San Diego!!! Really, there is some injustice there!!!

Anways, off I go. Chinese is on its way and I have to schedule my chick flick marathon for the weekend. Pierce Brosnan anyone????

13 November, 2006


I got a four-year-degree from a private college. To some, that makes me wealthy. To others, that makes me lucky. To yet others, it makes me and others like me, lazy and inattentive.

Guess what? I was very fortunate to be given the opportunity to achieve a four year degree. My parents did assist me with my college education. However, I worked unbelievably hard to create those opportunities. I pushed myself through high school finishing 8th in my class with 3 academic scholarships and a full year of college credits under my belt. I then proceeded to complete my 4 year college degree in 3 years, graduating Magna Cum Laude with honors, 2 majors and less than $10,000 in loans. My education is worth over $100,000. My parents paid just under $25,000 of that for which I am extremely grateful. Let's look at that.

$10,000 Loans (which I will eventually pay off myself/with my fiance)
$25,000 Parents

That leaves $65,000 worth of education that I paid for myself up front. I had saved for college since I was 8 years old. I spent the years leading up to college working toward scholarships. I worked two jobs for most of college and worked full time my entire senior year in addition to a full time class schedule and a serious relationship. I slept somewhere between 4 and 6 hours each night.

I'm not complaining. You can ask my roommate of 3 years. I loved almost every minute of it and I took great joy in what I was doing. But don't sit there and judge my education. Don't assume that I partied every weekend and dwindled my time with sororities and fraternities. Don't assume that I did the bare minimum to pass. I guarantee you, I earned my education, cost and content.

Don't diminish my education or anyone else's because you assume a rule about private colleges and their students. I am humbled by the opportunity I was given and I am aware of the reasons for the stereotype I am challenging. That said, don't judge my ability and my ethic by a stereotype. That's like measuring inches with a meter stick.

And I am sure I am not the only one.


I've really had the opportunity in the past few weeks to reflect on the importance and value of good friends. Since being laid off, I have had a couple of tough weeks at home. It is really hard to spend the entire day reflecting on the fact that you should be working and aren't. Or the fact that you are bringing in bills that you aren't helping to pay. Not only that, but I've been sick for the last week and that doesn't help the cause.

These are times when I start questioning myself and my value. Do I have something special to offer? What did a 4-year-degree get me? I worked my tail off and racked up a pretty sum in loans for this? These are times when I wonder if I am good enough. That is a really hard reality to face.

That said, I have been affirmed in so many ways by those whom I gratefully call friends. So many of them have taken minutes out of their day to e-mail me to check on me. A couple have made an extra effort to get me out of the house for social time. Sometimes it is to run errands and sometimes for a cup of coffee. It has been an affirmation of what really matters. Jobs will come and go. People and relationships will bless you over and over again if you work at them and let them.

In moments of fear and tears and frustration I lean heavily on those wonderful people I am blessed to call friends. I am so overwhelmed by the message He keeps sending me that truly affirms that which is important in life.