24 March, 2007

The Gift of Nicholas

My sister has re-inspired my blogging...if I am not careful, her witticism will surpass mine!!!

3 weeks ago, Kevin's best friend and his wife had their first baby, Nicholas. He is the most adorable little thing you have ever seen!

As a result, Kevin and I were discussing life and how it has changed over the past years. He and his best friend have been friends for almost 20 years now! Kevin lived in Milwaukee and Chicago, and Gregg was in the Army. There were good times and there were dark times. There were months when they went without talking. And yet, Kevin remembers when they talked about getting married and having children and it is a strange experience to see it coming to fruition.

I also have moved around a bit. As I reflect on my friendships over the years, most of them have drifted apart. Getting married really gives you the opportunity to see who is still really invested and who isn't. I have friends in all stages. I have one, the one I expected to be there, who isn't. I have another who I never in a million years expected to be there (my best friend from Kindergarten) who is thrilled to be coming! And I have another who is on the fence about the friendship all together. And there is a new friend who thought my wedding was important enough that even when she wasn't invited to the dinner asked if she could come to the ceremony. Life changes things. My life is leaps and bounds different from who I was in all those stages. Thank God for that! We become different people. If a friendship can evolve to incorporate those changes, it is a beautiful thing. For my best friend from Kindergarten, our friendship kind of hibernated the past 18 years. And if it can't survive, we bless those friendships and let them go. It doesn't lessen the connection or the time we had together, it just says that the friendship taught us, blessed us, held us, and now it is time to let go.

Lifelong friendships are a blessing. Phase/Stage friendships are a blessing. A friendship that lasts the duration of an event is a blessing. I've had them all. Some of them have passed through me and others remain in me. They were all still in me, at the very depth of my being.

I am who I am. I live where I live. I've made choices and paid the consequences of those choices. I've also reaped the great blessings of those choices. I chose to live my life without regrets. That doesn't mean there isn't opportunities for apologies and reparation for bad choices, but ladies, we're grown-ups now. I don't have a magic wand. I can't make it all better with a kiss and a band-aid. I can say I am sorry and then the ball is in your court. You can walk away and end the game or you can keep playing. Either way, I'll still love you and always think of the good times we had.

No comments: