27 January, 2007


I just finished a book by Alice von Hildebrand "By Love Refined: Letters to Young Bride" and she said a lot of things, but this was one of my favorites.

"Like the oriental carpet weaver, the good wife must be an artist of love. She must remember her mission and never waste the little deeds that fill her day - the precious bits of wool she's been given to weave the majestic tapestry of married love."

I was so glad to return home a week and a half ago. There is just something about your own house, your own bed, and your own system. I loved spending time with my sister, the baby, my parents, and the puppies, but Mom has a very particular system. Sometime since I left, my family has all become automatons of said system. When the kitchen wasn't clean when and how Mom does it, Dad made sure I knew it. When Alida came home for the weekend, she spent the first hour cleaning the kitchen counter off...apparently, all but Hanna have fallen prey to my mother's "way". :)

Even the puppy (65 pound puppy mind you) was off-kilter without my mom. He usually has a lot of energy, but he was particularily difficult while I was there and was a prince when Mom was home from the hospital for a few precious minutes.

Things got done, they just got done my way. And some of them didn't get done my way. Mom has a very particular way of doing baby laundry and somehow I knew that if I didn't do it exactly right, she'd know...:)

And then there were the bottles...So, the baby goes through about 7 bottles a day...I had about 9 bottles in circulation...so, I'd wait until they were all gone, put them in the dishwasher in the really cool bottle washer thing, and fill them when they came out. I came to find out the morning I left, that mom had about 20 of those things that I could have rotated. It's nice to know you're own home, isn't it?

Sure, I returned home to a messy kitchen table and loads of laundry, but I realized while I was gone that I really don't mind that stuff. (Kevin might say that I never really minded it because it takes me 5 days longer than him to recognize the need to do anything...Dad and I have decided I just have a higher "dirty" tolerance...eventually it will get done!) I knew where the towels were. I knew which knives I could use and for what. I knew what I had in my food pantry for meals. I knew what had to be done and when.

The first morning mom was home from the hospital with Matti, she asked me, "So, how do you like being a mom?" I told her that I didn't really feel like the mom. I didn't have a problem balancing the jobs, but the baby still wasn't mine, nor was the schedule. If I was the mom, I would have the routine and functions down to my pace and priority list. I felt like a very comfortable nanny...I knew the house and the characters in the house...the quantity...but I didn't know their ways...the quality...

As so beautifully said by Alice von Hildebrand, it is my job to create my home. No moment or talent is wasted when I am working to create a safe, loving, and hallowed space for my husband and family, however I may go about doing that.

Suffice it to say, I am so glad to be home. Even if it does mean getting this nasty cold from my sweetie...thanks, by the way...

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