Why I Envy Runners

Let me clear something up. My title may have implied that I have a desire to run. I do not, have not, and will never have a desire to put on short shorts, a tight top and a pair of expensive running shoes. Running shoes in my world are best for long days at the office followed by a teaching night on my feet. They are light and they breathe. Beyond that, they serve no purpose in my life.

That being said, my best friend from high school is a runner. She loves to run and becomes distraught when time or injury prevents her from doing so. I’ve been keeping up with her over at her blog and I can honestly say that the other day I envied her passion for self-mutilation.

As I read her post I couldn’t help but envy the fact that her hobby, her passion, is something that allows her such an amazing stress relief. As I read her post I could feel how the pressure just melted away and I wished I had something in my life that gave me that physical and emotional fulfillment.

I actually packed my running shoes, shorts and a t-shirt into my work bag for the next day. Sadly, they are still sitting in my work closet mocking me because, oh yeah, I hate running.

It is what it is. I will never be a runner, but I love to walk and it is almost fall in Wisconsin. There is nothing more wonderful than an after dinner walk on a cool fall night in Wisconsin. I guess it is more about making it a priority (there’s that word again), than it is about what you do. My friend runs because it is a priority. It is something she MUST do and just does. It is a very part of her and as such is so healthy for her.

One thing I can do that most runners do is cook. This particular recipe came upon recommendation from my dear runner friend and it is AMAZING. Don’t be fooled. It is the easiest and most perfect end of summer recipe full of wonderful fresh produce and herbs. A quick stop at the farmers market and about an hour and you’ll have yourself a beautiful corn and tomato pie. (I have just revealed to you my newest obsession the Smitten Kitchen blog – why couldn’t you have come into my life at the beginning of my relaxing summer instead of the end??? Oh, and someday I have to tell you all about my homemade ricotta experiment…my heavens, it was as smooth as my baby girl’s cheek!!!)

The defininition of insane...

…is doing something more than once and expecting a different result the second time.

So why is it that my 18 month old daughter continues to open the drawer in the coffee table and then slam her fingers in it?

Oh yeah, she’s 18 months. And a girl. And my daughter.

Three strikes and this little girl is out her independent own!

John Ross was such a mellow little guy compared to this one. She screams, growls, and pushes. She’s either all in or all out. Even at 18 months she’s yelling at the kitty and demanding her birth-right time with her daddy. She throws diapers and calls them footballs.

And yet…she is sweet, loving and completely obsessed with shoes!!!! Anything that shimmers or shines is “pittee” and her eyes are the dictionary definition of sparkling.



I can’t wait to see how the Lord uses this one. I harbor some early fears that being this perfect storm of her papa and me, she will actually try to accomplish some of the daring things I only dreamed of in my younger years.

More on that later…intervention is necessary in a train track bludgeoning…and the antagonizing suspect is not male!

Forever a Bridesmaid

I recently came across some photos that my sister had given me from her wedding last year. There were photos of she and her hubby and photos of the wedding party, but there was also a photo of myself waiting to walk down the aisle as one of her bridesmaids.

At the time I had just stopped nursing Clara and was feeling a little down on myself. I was back to work, over my ideal post-baby weight, and I had just cut my hair because a lot of it was falling out post-partum.

Yet, I remembered a comment my sister had made when she first gave me the photos. She said, "Look at these photos of you girls walking down the aisle. In the pictures of you and Jenny (her sister-in-law) you can clearly tell that you are looking at your husbands."

I remember that moment. I looked down the aisle and finding the gaze of my husband at the altar. It was a very sacramental moment for me as I recalled my own journey down the aisle and all the things we had already been through. My heart filled with love and peace and my eyes welled up with happy tears. Walking down the aisle became a testament to the power of a God-filled marriage. We were "leading the way" for my beautiful sister and her husband. I was truly to be a handmaid, serving her by example and presence.

In a world where weddings have become a greater focus than the marriage this comment really made me reflect on the role of the bridesmaid. Sometimes it seems as though a wedding and a bridal party is all about an opportunity for adult dress-up. Yet, the beautiful ritual that is the Sacrament of Marriage prevents us from becoming too caught up in it. We are reminded that the old traditions of the bridesmaids, dressing, carrying, and leading, are not just folly. We stand as witness to the marriage, but more importantly as servants and guides.

My wedding day was one of the most powerful and sacramental days of my life. Moreover, standing up in my sister's wedding with my husband was one of the most powerful renewals of our vows and our vocation that I have experienced to this point. I am reminded that marriage is a journey and it is a journey that we do not take alone. We travel with God, our three in One. With God we co-create, we sanctify, and we serve our marriage and our world and while we do that we lead the way for other holy men and women who are watching our example.

All that from a wedding photo and a 20 minute drive to work...

My Little Red Blessings

Moving was stressful. I somehow got it into my head that after an 18 month selling/buying process that once we signed the papers it would all be over. I saw our closing date as a finish line. OOPS!

The transition to our new home, while wonderful, has been quite challenging. Daylight savings had our children rising at ridiculously early hours of the morning and constant pleas to "go home" kept them from wanting to sleep at night. We invested in a color-changing clock (to indicate time to get up) and room darkening blinds and that seemed to remedy the waking times, but we still heard a lot of "go home".

On our way to church one morning as we sat on the exit ramp which also leads to our old home we heard John Ross whiny quietly in the back seat, "home, Scoopy's home, go home" while pointing out his window. It nearly broke us...

We've continued to work hard to explain old home and new home and discuss the benefits of our new home. The kids love to be outside all the time and now have a place to ride their bikes. They both have their own rooms were they can play toys and store their stuff. We are a short walk from the shoreline of Green Bay and have a much bigger, less stressful kitchen/dining area. They regularly voice their joy in these new things so I know that it is just going to take time.

Amidst all of the stress and transition there have been a few affirming moments that have reminded us that this was GOD'S plan even if we are still working through the human struggles. From the beautiful bay breezes to the wonderful neighbors we know that this is where God meant for us to be.

The most recent example of this was a little surprise that we discovered in our back rock garden. While trimming, Kevin thought he recognized strawberry plants. Yes, even after Kevin hacked half of the patch back (not realizing what they were at first) we had at least 5 pints of little red strawberries! What a treat to take the kids out and let them discover all the beautiful little red surprises in the patch! Except for one batch of strawberry shortcake, we ate them right out of the garden and indulged gratefully in our little red berries. In fact, my sweet little Clara has added the word "berries" to her vocabulary just to celebrate!

I've always wanted fruit plants and trees, but we've never had the space or the sun. What a gift to this black thumb to find thriving, sweet produce ready for the picking!!! These little sweet packages have done worlds of good for my tired soul and aching body. Who would have thought that such a small little thing would bring such joy and peace?

And, as an added bonus, they've gotten me out to care for the garden. My husband has finally realized (or accepted) that the best way to motivate or satisfy me is by attaching a food experience! To quote him, "If I'd have known that all I had to do to get you out to the garden was plant a few strawberries, I would have done it years ago!"

The Tale of My Wedding Dress

I recently read a beautiful tale of two wedding dresses over at Falling Upward blog and it got me to thinking about my own wedding dress. I thought I'd share.

Kevin proposed to me 3 weeks before I was laid off. If we hadn't been engaged our story may have been very different. I was alone in Green Bay with 18 months of work experience in a field I had no education in and I was locked into an apartment lease. My unemployment payments barely covered my rent and my meager savings would only have lasted a few months. If it hadn't been for our engagement, I very well may have moved back to Ohio where my parents were living at the time.

Instead, unemployed and engaged in a strange city, Kevin paid my other bills while we looked for another job. I was laid off right before the economy turned and so the market was already beginning to slow. I spent the entire 7 months we were engaged looking for jobs and doing decorating projects on Kevin's house. Two months before our wedding my landlord was able to lease my apartment to someone new and I moved into the upstairs bedroom at Kevin's house. While you most certainly can insert judgements here, it was the reality of our situation and I don't believe in making up stories to keep people reading.

Suffice it to say, our engagement was a joyfully cautious time. Without a job it was hard to make decisions about a wedding that would cost money. We kept things very simple. Our guest list was 40 people and we hosted a dinner at a local restaurant. Because it was so small, there was some frustration and hurt from others who assumed they would be guests. So, instead of being happy for us many of our family members voiced upset and anger.

When it came to the dress, while I wanted to look beautiful on my wedding day it didn't really seem to matter at the time. My mom was in a place in her life and my sisters were at an age that they were not able to come and be with me as I made the decision on a dress. I set a very modest budget and knew that I couldn't EVER justify spending more on a dress that I would wear for a few hours. My future sister-in-law and niece went with me to try on dresses. That in itself is slightly amusing because my sister-in-law is pretty far from a girly-girl.

I tried on several that I thought I would like and didn't and finally settle on a simple, no train, strapless beaded gown with a sweetheart neckline. I would have prefered to wear something with straps for Mass, my budget didn't really gift me that option in a style that otherwise flattered me. I didn't have it lengthened because I wore flats and I didn't want a veil. I bought a corset and jewelry and made my clutch to match. Since dinner was scheduled for before the ceremony I also made an ivory cocktail dress to wear for dinner.

By the time the wedding day arrived I had gained a few stress pounds and was grateful for the corset and the relief of an a-line gown. We were running late and I dove into my gown and slapped on some fresh lipstick about 10 minutes before Mass.

I didn't feel stunning or show-stopping. I don't even feel like it was the most beautiful day of my life.

Against my dad's recommendation, I didn't carry flowers. He was worried about my hands shaking from nerves and needing something to hold onto.

But in the end, the second I took my dad's arm and look down the aisle at my future I felt loved. Knowing that we had already thrived despite one of the hardest experiences in life gave me a sense of confidence and security that overcame all of my superficial insecurities about my appearance.

As I took that first step all of the worldly things that tradionally mattered didn't any more. I was beautiful and I was loved. I was marrying a man that was going to stand by me and love me no matter what I was wearing or how pretty my hair looked. I was marrying a man whose only care was to see me wear a smile.

Today my dress hangs in my closet. I have every intention of wearing it again. I am currently on the hunt for a seamstress that will convert my simple a-line gown into a cocktail dress for our 5th anniversary. I plan to hold onto the extra fabric to incorporate into my children's wedding garments. At the time the dress didn't really matter, but today it is symbol of our fidelity, our perserverance, and the simple beauty of our love. It is a symbol and dare I say a"sacramentary" to be passed on to future generations in love and fidelity.

An Explanation of Grace

I recently had grace explained to me in a very beautiful way and I wanted to share.

God is perfect. God is like the highest rung of a ladder.

We spend our entire lives practicing perfection and trying to be Christ-like. We reach the first rung, the secong rung, and maybe the third rung. Sometimes we go down a rung.

Grace is the space between the rungs that God takes care of by reaching down and taking our hand. Grace is when we do our best and God makes up the difference.

Daybook June 2011

Outside My Window ...
A bit of a dreary day. Good for this mama since my kiddos are not begging to go outside I can get some more work done unpacking and nesting in our new home!

***

I am listening to...
Screetches! To be more exact, little girl screetches. Clara's lunch is kicking in and she is a very happy, very loud little girl! She's actually trying to stand on an end table...

***

To Live the Liturgy…
I just got a new book series from 23rd Publications about Fergie the Frog. It is a series that focuses on Fergie's experiences and the leasons he learns. At the end of each book is a little connection to faith practice. We're enjoying each new story over here especially with a 2.5 year old!

***

To be Fit and Happy…
Today not so much, but the new house has given us so much more space and time to spend outdoors. I don't have to worry about the kids so they can go out on bikes in the front. It is a lot easier to walk around here too and I can't wait to get my rollerblades out and start whipping this body back into shape!

***

I am thankful for ...
A general sense of calm around here. We have a beautiful new home, it's summertime, and work is in planning mode. It makes for a happy mama!

***

From the kitchen ...
Real meals!!! That was the hardest part of moving. Family meals are SO important to us and during the move we ate a lot of convenience food and fast food. It is so nice to smell a roast in the crockpot and spiced chocolate pecan bars in the oven!!! This is my home!!!

***

I am creating ...
I am repurposing a 50-year-old vanity that I inherited. It belonged to my great-grandmother. At one point many years ago it had a beautiful beveled mirror in it, but that has long since shattered and been replaced with a flat mirror. In the old house the mirror portion of the vanity was in storage over our wings because we didn't have the vertical space for it, but I needed the vanity portion. In my new office I still needed the vanity, but now have the vertical space for the mirror portion. Yet I found myself not wanting to gaze at myself while I worked so I am padding the back and covering it with a pretty upholstery fabric and some ribbons and buttons for a french photoboard look. I hope it will be a good place to keep notes about my various ongoing projects!Pictures when I have some...

***

I am reading…
I finished A Year in the Life of Food and LOVED every moment of it! Now I am working on the book Fall On Your Knees. Although I do not find that it has a great deal of depth, the plot moves and the writing style is quite unique. I am finding that the pages go by quickly.

***

Towards a real education ...
I am considering taking some steps toward my masters degree. I hestitate because my children are only young once, but a slow start might be good. I am also trying to learn a lot more about produce gardening and whole foods to better feed my family.

***

Bringing beauty to my home ...
While not everything is packed up and put away yet we are going to try to get some art on the walls this weekend! We need to get rid of some of the echoes and start making it seem like OUR home again.

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I am hoping and praying…
That our contractor is going to be able to help us make some prudent choices about finishing our basement. We don't know exactly what we want to do with it and we need some guidance.

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Around the house ...
It is so much easier to keep this house clean it seems! It is easier to put things away and keep it tidy, which leaves a lot more time to sit on the porch and watch the sun set.

***

One of my favorite things...
My new stovetop which can boil water SO quickly! It's not convection, but compared to our old stove (40+ years) it goes so quickly! I am also in love with my full size dishwasher, which I only have to run every 2-3 days!!!! I could wash dishes for an army!

***

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week...
A weekend with my family. Shopping, eating, recreating. Hopefully the weather will clean up it's act a bit so we can get outside and maybe have a picnic. I am also hoping to get the rest of my office and craft room unpacked and squared away.

***

In pictures...
Two of my favorite features of our new home - our fireplace and our back deck!

I'm Back! And Still Unpacking...

I know it has been a month since my last post. As many good intentions as I had about writing and scheduling posts to appear during our moving month they went out the window as I taped the first box...more on that and SO much more later, but for now here is a link to my most recent post over at Catholic Mothers Online about being a working mama!

My Scoop on Working Mamas

Though our basement still currently looks like a pawn shop watch for some great new posts this week! I just can't keep my fingers still any longer no matter how hard my internet service provider tries to thwart my efforts!

27 Reasons...I Love Him Too

For our 4th anniversary my hubby created a lovely letter with the 27 reasons he loves me (we were married on the 27th of April). While I would love to share those reasons with you because they were truly blessed there are boundaries about what I share online and love letters are not within them. That being said, I felt called to share with all my readers the 27 reasons I love HIM.

1. I can't remember my life before we were one.
2. I can't imagine any more beautiful children.
3. The way we feast upon our experiences, whatever they are.
4. Road trips.
5. You have kept cleaning the litter box even though I am not pregnant.
6. "We don't pull the kitties' tails. God gave us kitties to take care of."
7. You have taught me about discipline and joyful housework.
8. You make coffee for each morning.
9. Schweetie french toast.
10. The best steak dinners by candlelight.
11. K2 wings and cajun fries and Sgambati's pizza.
12. Rabbits!
13. Our bedtime prayers.
14. Squishes!
15. Your support of my career and my passions.
16. Your patience with my redecorating bugs...
17. Having someone who appreciates my cooking even when it undermines your weight-maintenance efforts.
18. Caribou Coffee pit stops!
19. Family date nights.
20. Ghosts and Goblins.
21. All the things you teach me about the world.
22. Conversations about philosophy and theology (even when we don't agree).
23. Travelling the world and dreaming of travelling with the kiddos.
24. Saturday morning market days.
25. Juicy Lucies at Groveland Tap.
26. Snuggly snow days and schweetie naps.
27. Knowing that we are committed to being together for more years of our life than we were apart.

This man is my life. My heart is his heart. We rely fully and completely on each other. While that may not be okay by the world's standards, I don't so much mind being set apart. It means that we are seeking to live a holy and God-filled life.

The Last Bottle...

Clara will drink her final bottle at lunch today while I am at the office. It is a very bittersweet moment for this mama.

As a pro-life Catholic family we are regularly discerning our family size. With two children 2 and under we are at a place in our co-creation where we believe that God agrees that we need, at least, a break.

Clara is 1 and my cycles have just returned to normal (telling me that physically my body is just now ready to consider the option again) and I am still 15 pounds from my healthy weight. It is important to us that I always start another pregnancy from a healthy physical place since carrying another life for 10 months takes a toll on even the healthiest body.

Moreover, I believe that my vocation in life is three-fold. My vocations are as a wife, a mother and a lay minister to the church. I have just taken on the role of lifelong learning coordinator at my parish which will see my hours increasing in service to our faith community. While this does not come before my call to family life, it is definitely a part of who God calls me to be. I need to spend some time answering that part of my call as we discern when and if God, Kevin and I are called to adding another life to our family.

I often wonder if I/we are open enough to life. Just using NFP as a family planning method doesn't make a family open to life because NFP can be used with as much contraceptive mentality as artificial contraceptive methods. While we know that we would always lovingly accept a new life, planned or otherwise, it does not excuse us from evaluating our perspective and use of NFP. We must pray and discern regularly and consistently about how we are supporting and accepting life in our marriage. This includes considerations like new life, quality life, support of our extended families, and participation in our community.

How does this all connect to "the last bottle"? Well, my deep sadness over my sweet little girl's last bottle tells me that I am in fact still open to life. If I found myself celebrating and rejoicing that I would never have to make or wash another bottle I would have to really examine my feelings about adding life to our family. It is in my melancholy that I find God's affirmation and in that I take great comfort.

My Baby Bear Turns One

My sweet little Clara Ann turned one on Monday. Sadly, the last weeks have been so busy that I am quite delayed on her birthday post. Delayed but not forgotten.

Clara got a double dose of fire in her personality. Compared to my even-tempered little man, Clara has no patience, no tolerance, and a stubborn streak that could get her an oceanside view in Arizona.

She is not the marathon sleeper that her brother was and spent many a night bonding with daddy well into the second half of her first year. Though she resists sleep, she needs it and is so much more pleasant when she wakes up from a good rest.

She only has 4 teeth: the two bottoms ons and her fangs. She really looks like a tiny little vampire.

She talked a lot sooner than John Ross. She has a very raspy, deep little voice which usually cracks people up when they first hear it. While she spent the first many months growling, her first word was "gentle" which comes out sounding like "GEN-toe". It is quite amusing when she actually growls the word. While we were in FL this spring, her auntie bumped her head on the stroller while putting her in and she softly whined "GEN-tooooeee". Her second word was "touchdown" which everyone worked very hard on prior to the Superbowl seeing that she was born in Green Bay.

She is a SUPER-eater! She does not gag on her food or resist anything we give her which makes her a joy compared to her brother at that age. She loves bananas and graham crackers and is learning to use a spoon. Unfortunately, right now that means using her fingers to eat things off the spoon, but every painter starts by fingerpainting, right?

She inherited mommy's chin and thunder-thighs. She hates wearing dresses because she can't power-crawl in them and she doesn't look good in pastels. She is bright and bold and a ball of love. Her best feature is her dusky blue eyes and pink little lips and they are best when her cheeks are rosy and she's giving kisses. I love every padded, pudgy inch of her.

We've called her Scrappy from the time she was in the womb, but she also goes by Beara, Clarie, Clarita, Scappa, and Clara-bear.

She is my snuggler and the best birthday gift she gave her mama was an hour of snuggling in the baby wrapper at Easter Sunday Mass. She lays in my arms and gazes up at me lovingly no matter what her size. Her sweet little wistful smile always leaves me wondering who this beautiful little girl is going to be.

She will take her first steps this week and who knows where those little feet and fiery personality will take her. All I know for certain is that God has BIG plans for my LITTLE bear and I pray that God shows me exactly what maps she needs!

A Home for Nuthatches

I'm sitting in my dining room this morning working on an assortment of tasks from bills to parishioner welcome cards. One of my sitters likes to pull back the sheer curtain on our front window so that the kids can watch the cars while they eat lunch. Yesterday she didn't put it back and so I'm looking out onto our front yard and the busy street.

A couple of years ago, Kevin decided to overhaul the landscaping in our front yard. His dad is in the landscaping business and has a large nursery of various plants not too far from here. During this particular project, Kevin decided to transplant a less-then-thriving weeping mulberry that he had rescued from his grandmother's home before they sold it. It has since taken root and thrived in our front yard.

It is a small but beautifully melancholy tree. Most people wouldn't give it a second thought and we both fear as we try to sell our house that the new owners won't appreciate it's history. It really wouldn't survive another transplant and so we must reluctantly leave it behind.

As I looked out at our mulberry today I spotted two new residents: a pair of nuthatches. As they bopped and hopped their way around the small tree I felt a deep sense of sadness that they were moving in just as we are (hopefully) moving out. I watched them poke their bodies into a knot as they cleaned out a little space of their own.

As I watched them diligently go about their task and heard them peep cheerfully, I realized that God was sending me a sign. No matter where we go and when we get there, we too will carve out our little space in the world. We too will create a safe and soft place for our family to grow. And while we may not be able to take it with us, our mulberry tree (and its residents) are part of our legacy of love at this home. We hope that our love of this place will bless the new residents.

Please keep our family in prayer as we wait for a buyer to secure financing for our home. We are living in limbo since we can't make decisions about a new home until we are certain that someone can buy this one. We ask for patience and peace, but are also so grateful for this experience. It has allowed us to more fully enter into the season of Lent and the waiting for new life at Easter.

Recent Weekly Menu

John Ross looks so little here! Since they could eat solids my kids have not stopped eating. Meals come every 3-5 hours no matter what other work needs to be done or how long the day has already been. As much as I love fast food, it needs to remain a treat for both our the health of our bodies and the health of our checking account. That takes some planning.

For the busy women out there, here is my weekly menu! Mix, substitute and complement as necessary! Good stewardship of the body is as easy a little bit of whole wheat and a container of fresh spinach!

Monday: Crockpot Beef Roast Over Whole Wheat Egg Noodles

Tuesday: Family Date Night @ Chili's

Wednesday: Crockpot Vegetable Vindaloo Over Brown Rice and Chicken with Naan

Thursday: Sausage Potato Soup (but I leave out the heavy cream and use turkey sausage - swiss chard also works in place of kale), Spinach Salad, and French Bread

Friday: Fish Fry @ Church with My Family

Saturday: Raspberry-Chipotle Shredded Pork Tacos, Black Beans, Tortilla Chips and Salsa

Sunday: Whole Wheat Spaghetti and Meatballs, Spinach Salad and French Bread

My favorite spinach salad right now is fresh spinach, grape tomatoes, and shredded cheese topped with some basil olive oil and freshly cracked pepper! Mangia!

Living Lent Through a Slice of Bread

Image by premus on Flickr

The next time you pack lunches or make yourself a sandwich snack, I invite you to think about this!


Slice of bread - Just as you eat a piece of a loaf of bread, you are a piece of the Body of Christ and the Resurrection community. May we live a welcoming life that leaves none lonely or hungry.


Knife - The Christian life is not always easy. Lent is a great time for us to cut away some of our bad habits by way of prayer, fasting and sharing of resources. May this trimming make more room for God in our hearts.


Spread - There are as many spiritual journeys as there are toppings for bread. We are all called to spread the message of Jesus to those around us and more often than not, we do so by the way that we live.


Beverage - Just as Jesus was anointed with the perfumed oil and then poured himself out for us upon the cross, may we pour ourselves out in service to others, those we love and those we may not even know.


Napkin - We all make mistakes, but Jesus was the first to offer forgiveness to the sinner. May we seek and offer forgiveness regularly and allow God to wipe our hearts clean!

Our Vacation in Photos

We had a fabulous vacation with my family in Orlando this weekend! I really think we couldn't have spent any more time by the pool or in the sunshine. It was amazing and we are SO grateful to my generous parents for giving us an experience that we will never forget!

John Ross in the Green Bay airport

Clara Ann sporting her new sippy at the airport

John Ross climbing his first palm tree

My little girl is SO big!

My sister and brother-in-law!

Fire dancer at the luau

My brother at the luau...

John Ross loved my sunglasses!

The boys watching cartoons in the family dining room while we ate in peace!

Clara wasn't sure what to do with the sand

John Ross loved the mess!

Fabulous picture of my focused little swimmer!

John Ross never stopped eating and insisted upon eating EVERYONE's food. Here he is sharing with his "Sissy"

The guys in the family spent a lot of time at the Universal theme parks and this was Kevin and my dad hanging out at Hogmeads in the Wizarding World of Harry Potter!

Women in the Church

I was recently asked to reflect on the importance of women's spirituality opportunities from my role as a speaker and facilitor for Catholic women's events. This was the testimony I wrote for a parish facing questions about the importance of their women's events.


As Catholic women, I think we are in a unique time. In society today, more and more women are taking on the role of the spiritual head of household. They are hungry for time in the Red Tent; time with other women, time to grow, and the nourishment to feed their souls. From a Catholic standpoint we’ve spent a lot of time trying “not to loose” our Christian women because we need their service and their gifts instead of trying to inspire and offer opportunities for growth in our uniquely CATHOLIC faith. Many women are finding support in other ways like online communities and evangelical Bible studies. I believe that women who call themselves Catholic deserve more attention than we as a church are currently giving them.

From someone who has seen HUGE response to Catholic women’s programs here in Green Bay, I can say that everything we hear from women is that they need community and formation that comes from the other women in their community. There is no one who understands the experience of a woman better than another woman. In a world where we don’t have our mothers, grandmothers, sisters and aunts as readily available to teach us about the faith journey of a woman, our parish community has become more important, not less, in our life journey.

When we ask women to evaluate their experiences after an event, most of our women indicate that they are still hungry. They want more. They want opportunities to learn about women in the Bible. They want evenings to gather and discuss relevant books. They want regional pilgrimages, weekend retreats, and mother/daughter opportunities. They also want to see the men in their lives be offered similar experiences. There is no lack of need in the lives of the women I serve, but a lack of supply of Catholic speakers, parishes, and dioceses that are willing and able to provide these experiences.

The women at the Red Tent event at your parish said all that needs to be said about experiences like this. At the beginning of the event each woman shared their unique reason for being there, but all of them indicating a need for growth and understanding. One woman stopped me at the lunch hour and said, “I can’t believe it’s noon already! I thought I was going to go home after lunch and get some of the stuff I thought I “needed” to get done, but I have realized through the morning that this is what I need.” And another said, “It is nice to have someone else tell me that my spiritual life is important and someone who makes time to help me grow.”

For a Church and religion that puts such an emphasis on the role of our mother Mary and relies so heavily on the day-to-day contributions of women we cannot simply leave our unique spirituality and formation to adult formation and catechesis. We need significant experiences of Christ and Christ’s community of women to continue to motivate us and by extension our families to live holy lives.

From a more practical standpoint, while there are certainly women in the local community that could be called upon to offer reflections and retreat days, it is often important to bring in speakers who are from beyond your community. Just like children are more likely to listen to the advice of adults other than their parents so are women who believe that the message being offered them isn’t tempered by the needs of their parish.

Most certainly, speakers cost money. Having spent time talking with other women who speak like I do, we do our best to balance the financial needs and limitations of the communities we serve and our need to help support our families. When you pay a Catholic speaker, you are not simply writing a check to a faceless corporation for a material or service. You are often writing a check to a Catholic family that uses the money to further support the mission of the Church. For my family, the stipend for the presentation I gave this weekend will allow my husband and me to take an extra day off this summer in order to stop and stay a day at a pilgrimage site on our way to a family vacation. It is the first of what we hope will be many trips for our young children that will define the national and international reach of their faith family.

Working for a parish I know as well as anyone the annual back and forth of balancing a budget. I know the cost/benefit analysis that surrounds every good thing that we do. I do encourage you to continue having meaningful conversations about the spiritual growth and priorities of the women in your community. John Paul II called us to a “New Feminism” and there is no better time than now to embrace that call and empower Catholic women in service of the Gospel.

Daybook March 2011

I'm feeling a bit of the winter blues and decided it was time for a daybook entry!
Outside My Window ...
Darkness. I love the feeling and quiet of darkness.

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I am listening to...
Chatter. All day long I hear chatter even when no one else is talking. It is hard to turn the world off!

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To Live the Liturgy…
I am yearning for a week of family meals. My work schedule has taken me away from my family table over dinner many nights in the last month and I miss that daily aspect of the liturgy.

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To be Fit and Happy….
Not enough, but when it gets to that point I fall back on drinking lots of water. It is the least I can do.

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I am thankful for ...

My supportive and active husband. Without him I couldn't do the things I am gifted to do. Without him, my dreams would remain just that.

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From the kitchen ...
Not much. We've been eating a lot of soup because it freezes and warms again easily. I'm looking forward to the culinary challenge that is our Lenten practice. Check it out here!

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I am creating ...
Homemade play food for Clara's birthday. I've got the material for pancakes, waffles, and tacos cut and the base for my chocolate chip cookies painted. I'm also working on pretty little tea biscuits and cherries to go with some wooden tea bags! At the rate I am going, I am just grateful her birthday is at the end of April!
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I am reading….
Still working on A Year in the Life of Food by Barbara Kingsolver. I get about 5 pages each week...:)

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Towards a real education ...
This week I am just allowing myself to be educated by daily life.

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Bringing beauty to my home ...
We have committed as a couple to looking at the next day in a positive light instead of stressful countenances. We are working on smiles and laughter and not so many tears.

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I am hoping and praying….

That the uncertainties in life settle themselves a bit so we can have a few moments to adjust to our new normal. The warmer weather and sunshine can't hurt the process either...

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Around the house ...
We are keeping up and I am so grateful for my go-getter baby sitter who sweeps the floors and loads the dishwasher without being asked.

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One of my favorite things ...
My teacup. 10 minutes for boiling water, 3-5 minutes for steeping and 10 minutes for drinking = 25 minutes for ME!

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A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week...
Working, working, working...even my playtime this week is working! I am going on my 3rd of three dual-purpose weekends of women's ministry and parish ministry. They are wonderful and I am so grateful, but I am looking forward to a weekend to spend with my sweet, small little family.

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In pictures...

My Most Recent Therapy Session

Now, now, before you skip over this post in fear of some strange Freudian reflection, my therapy happens in my very own kitchen and my therapists include various flours, spices, and chocolates.

Yesterday was my birthday and I worked all morning at the parish. I love my job, but a birthday spent working leaves a bit to be desired. After spending the last 26 days working at the parish or being on the road for speaking engagements, I was ready for a break. I told Kevin that the one thing I really wanted to do today was spend some time in the kitchen.

I have a lot of opportunities in life to be creative, but there is nothing quite like being creative in the kitchen. Chinese healers have long believed that things like bread and noodle-making is the perfect treatment for stress because of the demanding physical manipulation. For me it is the sights, smells and sensations of digging your hands into a good dough that makes all the difference in my mood. I also love the joy that it brings to those who walk through my home or eat my food.

This birthday was a lot about feeding my soul. After an unbelievable meal and bottle of red wine at a local italian restaurant last night (an all-plans-made-surprise from my thoughtful and generous husband) and an afternoon in the kitchen, my soul is warm and satisfied. My muscles are loose, my mouth is watering, and my house smells like my home. It doesn't get much better than this.

Today's recipes included: lemon tiramisu (but I used Lemoncello liquer in place of the hazelnut liquer and substituted blueberries for the chopped hazelnuts), chocolate-chip scones, rum-raisin scones, hot wing dip, chicken and dried beef and raspberry jello salad. (The final two being my favorite meal from my childhood and my birthday meal!) You can find the base scone recipe here and the wing dip and dinner recipes to follow!

Wing Dip
5 oz. Franks Hot Sauce
2 - 8oz packages of cream cheese (softened)
1/2 cup of finely chopped celery
1 cup finely shredded cheddar cheese
1 cup cooked chicken, chopped

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mix hot sauce and cream cheese together until smooth. Mix in celery, cheese, and chicken and place mixture in oven safe dish. Bake dip in oven for 20-30 minutes and serve warm with crackers, chips or celery.

Chicken and Dried Beef
6-8 Chicken tenders or 3-4 sliced chicken breasts
1 jar of dried beef (found in the canned tuna section)
1 can of cream of mushroom soup
1/2 cup of sour cream
splash of milk

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Wrap your chicken in the dried beef and place in an oven-safe casserole dish. Mix the soup and sour cream together and add milk until the mixture is a saucy consistency. Pour the sauce over the wrapped chicken. Cook in the oven for 50 minutes until bubbly on top. Serve over cooked white or brown rice.

Raspberry Jello Salad
1 cup boiling hot water
1 small pkg. raspberry jello
1 cup applesauce
1 bag of frozen raspberries

Optional:
1/2 container of cool whip
1/2 cup of sour cream
1/2 cup of mini marshmallows

In a large bowl, pour hot water over the jello powder and stir until jello is completely dissolved. Stir in cup of applesauce and raspberries. Put in refrigerator to set. If using topping, wait until the jello is set. Mix together the ingredients and spread over top of jello.

Deafening but Deepening?

Our home is far from the center of marital bliss in northeast Wisconsin. The combination of the winter blues, a overscheduled calendar, 2 children under two years of age, a state budget crisis and two stubborn, pigheaded spouses just begs for some kind of chemical explosion. Ours happened on Kevin’s 38th birthday…over a cup of tea.

Actually, it was the spilling of foresaid beverage that prompted the explosion. And it wasn’t so much the spilling, but a disagreement about who was to clean up the carpet.

Who started the fire, or the parameters are not important. Nor is the fact that one of us ended up locked in the bathroom sobbing.

The real issue at hand is that each person has their breaking point. Each person has a moment where the oatmeal hits the floor, the pot boils over, or the diaper breaches. There are just some things in life that are too much. For us, it just happened at the same time.

We had it out, but in our hearts we both just wanted a pass. We both needed someone to step up and give us a break. And neither did.

And our hearts hurt. We hate being mad at each other. We just wanted to make it better, but neither of us was willing to extend the olive branch.

By the time an early bedtime rolled around for the kids, we were both ready to just have the whole thing be over. It was as though we couldn’t get to “I’m sorry” fast enough. We talked, we listened, we cried. We didn’t solve all the problems, but we went to bed committed to being kinder to one another.

And that is the best that we can do some days. We don’t worry that it happens. We’ll worry when we no longer see it as an opportunity to communicate and grow. We’ll worry when the deafening sounds or silence no longer lead to depth.

Super Powers? I Don't Think So...

"Mom needs her coffee Sis. It's where she gets her powers."

My 5-year-old brother knows how important my mom's coffee is to her in the morning.

My son also understands and pays reverance to the magic, caffinated elixir that is my morning cup of joe. He knows not to touch it, blow on it, or fuss at me before I've poured it. In our marriage, there is never a fight over who makes the coffee because we just have an understanding that it gets made. There are days when I am near certain that the coffee fairy makes it.

My cup is the start to my day and the splash of heavy cream that I add to it is the small mama luxury that gets my day started off right.

No one need elucidate me on coffee's many flaws and disadvantages (nor the cream I put in it). I gave it up in some degree during each of my pregnancies and have sacrificed it during Lent a time or two. Having worked at a coffee shop to put myself through college (both financially and physically) brewed coffee with cream is my stepdown from the harder stuff like flavored lattes (and the daily donut that is now represented around my mid-section).

Someday I'll swear off of my caffinated crutch in favor of my other dear friend decaffinated tea. Someday, when I have a beautiful house overlooking a lake where I can sit and watch the sunrise while waiting for my grown children to call and give me the latest update on the grandchildren...Someday, when all that is on my plate for the day is cooking and reading.

Until then, this is my place in life. A place where the rich smell of roasted beans in my nose instantly clears away the cobwebs clouding my mama brain.