Going, Going, Gone...

Balance is a frightful thing.

A thing never completely achieved.

A sense never completely out of reach.

A soaring joy when right.

A sinking ache when wrong.

One finds herself waiting, waiting, waiting...

For when two plus nine = 8.

Two find themselves waiting, waiting...

When finally 1+1+1 = One.

Daybook January 2011

Outside My Window ...
Powdery white snow and slushy roads! Not so enticing for going to the office today.

***

I am listening to...
Curious George trying to clean a grape-juice stain. Otherwise, silence. Clara is sleeping and John Ross is glued to George.

***

To Live the Liturgy…
Arg...tough one...we're just trying to get to liturgy at this stage in the game. This past weekend we got to church early because we were visiting my mom and dad and with 9 adults, 2 little boys, and 2 baby carriers we have to save an entire ROW! While we were waiting for Mass to begin I walked John Ross around the church and we learned how to bless ourselves with holy water and we lit a candle. When I asked him what we were lighting the candle for he replied with a half-whisper, "Kera and Daad" known to the rest of the world as Clara and Dad.

***

To be Fit and Happy….
I met my goal last week and exceeded it including a long trip to the skating rink. Considering it is already Tuesday and I haven't even started towards this week's goal, I'm a bit trepidatious. I am hoping that after the kids are in bed and Kevin is at a meeting that perhaps I can sneak a workout in tonight.

***

I am thankful for ...
A babysitter that can flex to my crazy schedule this month. I have a lot of extra night and morning meetings and my usual sitter doesn't have the kind of flexibility I need. I am also grateful that she is willing to stay on for the semester in addition to my sister so mommy can focus on work during work time and home during home time!

***

From the kitchen ...
Homemade SCONES! So yummy, but made the small to help with the fit and happy side of me!!! Almond Chocolate Chip, Blackberry Lemon, and Honey Cranberry Pecan. Here's the base recipe!

***

I am creating ...
Materials for a women's event in February. My session is called "Touch Up Your Roots!

***

I am reading….
"A Year in the Life of Food" by Barbara Kingsolver. I am also trying to decide on a piece of fiction. I think I need to fall in love with fiction again. Reading for pleasure and I fell out of love during college and I think I need to challenge myself to give it some grace again. I need something substantial to lose myself in. Please do not suggest pop culture fiction...I'm only considering classics. Perhaps I'll revisit the Betsy-Tacy series of my youth!

***

Towards a real education ...
Challenging myself to find time for crafts and coloring WITH the kids. The kids regularly express their creativity, but I am making an effort to participate!

***

Bringing beauty to my home ...
Taking down our Christmas tree (after all, the official liturgical season is now over) and making our space cozy again. I'm also trying to bring some organization to our cupboards and rooms.

***

I am hoping and praying….
For inner peace and guidance as I continue to build my speaking and writing career. Keeping a balance between my family, my day job and my dream is tricky. Not knowing the exact future status of my day job doesn't help either. I am so grateful for my best friend and writing buddy who keeps me motivated and inspired and who has in many ways, paved the way mentally for my work. I couldn't do it without her solidarity and I am praying that our friendship will also provide a solid foundation for a good partnership.

***

Around the house ...
I'm simplifying. The less busy work, the better.

***

One of my favorite things ...
My new Vera Bradley netbook bag!!! My sister pulled my name at Christmas and I am beyond excited about it and have already given it quite the workout! It is the perfect combination for both work and home use!

***

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week:
Working and catching up after an amazing weekend with my family and grandparents who had flown in from AZ. Perhaps a mommy meeting to catch up with a good friend and get some freelance work done. I'm going to try to get a leg up on my to-do list so I can enjoy next weekend, which is also the last free weekend of the next 3 months!

***

The RED Hour

At our house the "red hour" is any hour in which preparation for an event departure takes place.

The most regular occurance of the "red hour" is Sunday mornings before Mass. Oddly enough, or perhaps not so oddly to you mamas and papas out there, the hour before Mass is probably one of my least holy of the week. As a sort of examination of collective conscience, let's review.

First Commandment (You shall have no other gods before Me)
Yes, there were several moments where I considered that skipping Mass might be easier than giving John Ross a last minute bath to extract the yogurt and maple syrup from his hair.

Second Commandment (You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain)
Yes, Clara's incesant whining has elicited several "Jimminy Cricket!"s and "Good Lord!"s from my otherwise careful mouth.

Third Commandment (Honor the Sabbath)
Yes, I work for the church and have been known to work on Sundays. Working on Sunday is not so much the issue as is the fact that I don't take equivalent time later in the week to focus on quality family time. I have been known to get myself so wrapped up in my work, the laundry, the bills, and the family errands that I have neglected to make myself free to love my family and take time to rest. Even after creating the world (and you can bet God knew how badly we were going to mess it up by the next day), God took time to rest.

Fourth Commandment (Honor your father and mother)
Yes, I have neglected my role as mother by denying the importance of my spiritual life. I have not treated myself with patience and given myself the necessary prayer time with God.

Fifth Commandment (You shall not kill)
Yes, I have barked retorts and ordered my husband into action in a frustrated attempt to get us out the door on time. I have treated him with disrespect and killed his otherwise cheerful weekend demeanor.

Sixth Commandment (You shall not commit adultery)
Yes, I have put clean toddler tights and trousers ahead of my husband's pants. I have put my children and my need for community approval ahead of his needs.

Eighth Commandment (You shall not bear false witness)
Yes, I have been know to offer my children the example of a sarcastic comment such as, "Oh yeah, you're daddy is such help!", when in fact he deserves great admiration in their presence.

Ninth (You shall not covet your neighbor's wife)
Yes, in haste I have neglected my appearance and worn both jeans and oatmeal. In inattention I have dressed immodestly for the occassion of Mass with a dress that was perhaps too fitted or a skirt that was too short. I have not acted intentionally to protect the integrity of my husband and others.

Seventh Commandment (You shall not steal) and Tenth Commandment (You shall not covet thy neighbor's goods)
Yes, I have been known to take the last cup of coffee to soothe my Sunday morning nerves. I have also been known to get frustrated at the amount of time it takes my husband to get ready, not because of the time but because I want it too...

All jest aside, my examination proves our imperfection as parents. However, as my husband has so aptly and lovingly pointed out recently, we don't want to set the stage for Mass inside the "red hour". Mass is a celebration and most families don't like to start a celebration with an arguement in the car on the way over.

This weekend let's work together to have a collective "white hour". That is, an hour of peaceful preparation and loving interactions. And if it means we have to start early, so be it.

I'm setting the alarm for 4 a.m...:)

Yes, I Own a CSA Share and Still Shop at Sams Club

A contradiction you say? Not in our family.

I have a very clear moral base which is informed by my faith and my own study. That being said, I am very much a centrist on a lot of issues. I don't believe in the relative concept of "to each his own", but I do believe that everything in life is a balance.

I am on the fence between two extremes in a lot of areas of my life. I believe my number one vocation is family love, but I love to work and believe it is important. I believe that breastfeeding is best for babies, but I pumped and partially formula fed my babies from an early age. I own a half share in a CSA farm and I shop at Sams Club.

First and foremost, we live in Wisconsin. We cannot get fresh produce of any kind here for 4-6 months out of the year without shipping it in. Yet, healthy eating is a very significant core value of our family. This includes a lot of fresh/flash frozen produce and fresh meat and fish. Anyone who has learned the trick of shopping only the perimeter of the grocery store knows how pricey that can get. At Sams I can get more fresh spinach, fresh fruit, and fresh vegetables for my buck than anywhere else. I can also get plenty of eggs, yogurt, and milk for my growing family.

That is my second point. Even if we could get produce here year round from CSA, we couldn't afford it. Anyone who wants to go local/natural has to be willing to pay for it. While it is a priority for us as a family, we have to balance that with the priority of me working parttime and my vocation to church work. Both of these priorities prevent us from going all organic because of the cost.

Furthermore, Sams Club/Walmart corporation provides a lot of jobs and benefits to people in our community and keeps a lot of money moving in our community. CSA does as well in different ways, but to say that one is better than the other from an economic standpoint is fruitless. In today's day and age different people have different needs. We cannot all afford natural/organic, but we all deserve to afford a healthly lifestyle. CSA offers one option and Sams Club/Walmart offers another. This way, everyone has the option to eat healthy if they make it a priority.

(Side note: While some may contest my statement of "everyone has the option to eat healthy", I stand by it. Certainly it may be cheaper to eat a burger of the dollar menu, but I also know how cheap and easy it is to make a kettle of soup or chili that will feed our family of 3 eaters for 3+ meals. Cheapest does not mean that something more expensive isn't affordable and let's not even go into the healthcare costs that go along with the supposed "cheapest" option.)

The food supply chain in our family requires a balance between local, seasonal, and affordable. I am proud that we've made nutrition a family value. I am proud that I have found a way to shop and cook in the best interest of the loves of my life.

Why God Created Pomegranates

It has been a busy week around here. We hosted a 5-course wine and cheese tasting for my co-workers at the parish. Christmas is really rough on all parish staff and most events in December are just an extra thing on the calendar. This event was for all of us to get together, drink, eat, and laugh. There were about 10 people and the menu included curried butternut soup, beef roast, potatoes 3-ways, and a trio of sumptuous desserts. A lovely time was had by all, but especially by my creative side!!! This was another great consequence of my exit from Facebook!

An event I was supposed to speak at this weekend was rescheduled which was a wonderful treat! Instead of a Saturday away from my family we had breakfast together and visited a local farm who was hosting their annual "seed day". This farm offers community supported agriculture (CSA). We toured the farm and said hello the their chickens, dog, and beef cattle. We tasted some wonderful canned goods from last year's harvest and signed up for a half share of produce for the next growing season! We are all set to receive a box of produce a week starting in early June and running through the end of the harvest!! We are very excited to support local produce farming and enjoy some free range chicken and eggs!!! It was great to have some say in what was going to be planted this year!!!

We returned home a bit late for lunch. We were well into naptime by the time I got John Ross in his chair and although I fed him in stages to help prevent a meltdown, I was only mildly successful. As he worked on his grilled cheese, I was trying to peel a pomegranate (yes, I know...pomegranate? Not exactly local produce...more on my view on that in a later post) and remove the pareils. Amidst his yelling and whining I found myself saying to Kevin, "God created pomegranates simply to frustrate humans. I bet He just sits up there and chuckles!"

Kevin responded, "No, God created pomegranates to teach humans patience."

He's is Two Going on Three!

My little man is TWO! In the spirit of a tradition I have seen many blogger mom's keep, this post is dedicated to my firstborn son, the fruit of my womb, and the source of my very first gray hair.

Two years ago our lives changed forever. The miracle of life and the glory of heaven was never closer than the very moment our son took his first breath. When he arrived he did so without a sound. He didn't cry at the abrupt end to his warm, gentle existence, but quietly took in the new world around him. His big, brown eyes captured my heart and instantly ushered us into the era of a "brave new family".

Active in the womb, he hasn't stopped since. He is all boy and coming from a family of all girls mommy has been at the disadvantage! He loves wrestling with his daddy and his uncle Matt (my brother, who was adopted, is 5).

As active as he is, we call him our "little mommy". He has always been very empathetic. He feels what I feel and what Kevin feels. As an infant, I had to be very aware of my own stress, anxiety, and frustration as it was amplified in his behavior. To this day my approach to Sunday Mass is patterned in his behavior during Mass. Talk about a mood-meter! His little "feelers" are easily hurt by any perceived slight on his part or the part of others.

He is very attentive to his sister and is overly concerned about her well-being. If we invite him to dinner or to bed he is insistent that there is a plan for Clara. He has taken it upon himself to see to the well-being of Grandma's current foster baby. His baby doll has now taken on the baby's name and is lovingly placed in Clara's baby swing, baby seat, and exersaucer.

John Ross loves dinosaurs and trains and any combination of the two! Concidentally (NOT) his favorite TV shows are Dnosaur Train and Thomas the Tank Engine. Curious George is currently gaining on the former, but since he can't re-enact the antics of one curious monkey it may require a bit more imagination than he is ready for! John Ross loves his books when he is in his bed by himself, but is not one to be read to as of yet.

His sweet demeanor and quiet focus intrigues me daily. He will often "nap" for 3+ hours in the afternoon. Certainly a couple of hours are spent sleeping, but from infancy he would spend large periods of time laying and thinking. Somedays we'll walk in and find him sprawled out with his books while others he'll just be lying there with his hands behind his head. I often wonder what is happening behind his beautiful brown eyes.

He has always been very independent much to the chagrin of a mama who wanted to snuggle her first baby. However, the age of two has rung in a new era of snuggling. At random points of the day he will siddle up to me when I am working and attempt to push all other items from my reach. With a furrowed brow and an insistent, "Snuh?" he crawls up into my lap. Somedays he'll pull the blanket up over us. There we will sit, Mama reveling in the affection, for anywhere between 10-20 minutes watching a cartoon or show. As I mentioned before, he is not one for books...yet.

In the last couple of months his speech has exploded to included words like "engine" and "yuck" and phrases like "Where'd it go?" and "I don't know!" My absolute least favorite word is "MAM!" This very Irish version of an endearment for mother has become, in his little mouth, not a noun but a verb. It is a verb that demands action from wherever he is in the house. In fact, at Christmas we discovered that this is a verb that demands action from whatever female caretaker is closet. "MAM!" was used on both his grandma and his aunties.

"Scoopy", as we lovingly call him, is going to eat us out of house and home before he is 5. Tall and solid from birth, he rarely turns down food and consumes virtually every bite with gusto! He "mmmmm"s and "yummm"s and anxiously laughs his way through everything I fix and has recently taken a great interest in the food preparation process. I have suspicions that it has to do more with the pre-dinner bites that are involved, but at least I know that he will never starve!

He wears his heart on his sleeve and no one can claim that he hides his feelings. His expressions are truly priceless although I think Hallmark would pay a pretty penny for some of them. Many of them include very coordinated mouth and eyebrow movements. Surprised and confused are two of my favorites.

I see his heritage in him at every moment of everyday. Seeing his papa and my papa in him, I can't help but reflect upon what a blessing he has been upon our marriage. This is why God calls married couples to children. His creativity, love and determination are our future. His big brown eyes will see this world to a new and better place. I believe that in him our legacy of faithfullness and trust will live long beyond my earthly years.

May you always know our love and the love of your Father, my son. May you know that you never walk alone as I will always be in your heart.

100 Posts! Here's to You Woman at the Inkwell!!!

Wow...

I started this blog in 2006 as an outlet for my writing inspirations and as a way of staying in touch with all those who have touch my life. Having done that and built and deepened a few new friendships in addition, I am very blessed.

It has been a great 5 years and 100 posts. That may not seem like a lot for the amount of time, but throw in a couple of a jobs, a wedding, and 2 children and I am feeling quite accomplished!

As I said at the beginning my writing philosphy is that it is as much about the reader as it is about the writer. Writing is the beginning of a dialogue, spoken and unspoken. I am grateful for your readership, your comments, and your prayers.

If you're so inclined and have a bit of that bubbly stuff left from the holiday (or even just a sip of cold coffee), lift your glass! Here's to us!

Bananas and Chocolate - Proof of My Imperfection

A title like that around this time of year may conjur thoughts of weight-loss programs and rabbit-food salads. Neither is accurate in my case. Tonight it was the prescription for a case of parental abdication...

It is New Year's Eve. With a two-year-old and an eight-month-old, you can understand that New Year's Eve consists of a steak dinner at home after bedtime, a sip of bubbly whenever we decide it's midnight, and a VERY chaste kiss so as to avoid any extra "blessings" in the new year. However the bananas came long before dinner.

Perhaps it is the snow or several days at home with the WHOLE family, but John Ross has a terrible case of cabin-fever. Like I've never seen before. It is something out of my nightmares. After 3 time-outs, one swat on the tush, and several talkings to, my son was still riding his sister, stealing toys, and biting me.

And that is when he found me. Kevin found me in the mama fetal position. For those of you unfamiliar with this position it includes some version of sitting on the floor (in my case on the stool in the kitchen), banana in hand, my face nose first in a ramekin full of melted chocolate.

The last words I remember saying before sitting down to post this are, "I'm done. It's over. You need to get in there and wrestle with your son! He needs to be put in his place by an alpha dog that is clearly NOT his mama!!!"

Point being, none of us are perfect. My greatest health-concious will-power could not overcome the pressures of a completely unrelated mama-meltdown. It happens. And I will enjoy my steak, potatoes, and mushrooms with no more guilt than before the bananas incident. That is, if I make it there. My daughter is currently practicing pat-a-cake with my netbook cord in hand...

What Works: The Gratitude List - Busted Halo

Click the title above for a great gratitude practice during this season of generosity!!!

What Advice Would You Give Yourself 16 Years Ago?

Click the post title above for a wonderful letter by Catholic author and mother Danielle Bean to herself 16 years ago.

It was a good reminder as I sit here preparing for a council meeting to start and my hubby is wading knee deep in diapers and dinner. There is an ideal and there is a beauty in everything less than the ideal.

The Journey to Bethlehem: Our Journey to Christmas

It is the 2nd week of Advent. What are you thinking about? The temptation is to think about the things of the holiday season. Gifts, toys, parties, meals, travel plans, weather systems, money, and family. While one cannot live outside of society, one can certainly place the pressures of society in the correct order of priority. You can be sure that on her journey to Bethlehem Mary was thinking about things of the world. A place to sleep, food, being away from her family, birthing plans, clothing for Jesus (Jesus did arrive as a baby…diapers and burp cloths seem pretty universal to the experience); there is no question that Mary was anxious about the arrival of her son.

Perhaps it is important for us to remember that anxiety during Advent is okay. Perhaps we need to give ourselves permission to enter into the experience of the Holy Family on their journey to Joseph’s hometown. We are not so unlike the Holy Family.

And that goes for our trust in God too. We CAN imitate the trust Mary and Joseph had in God’s plan. We CAN trust that God will provide for our journey. It does not take a saint to reach a place of holiness. It just takes a little bit of time to listen to God. You CAN do it.

Though we may be called to monumental tasks of patience and generosity this holiday season, may we share in Mary’s proclamation, “My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord. My spirit rejoices in God my savior!”

Farms and Barns and the Love of God

I find myself travelling to the far reaches of our diocese about once a month. While it can sometimes be a bit intimidating to navigate the small country roads, I find great joy in my solitary drives and the simplicity of the wholesome country I drive through.

After today's presentation at a church in Sturgeon Bay, I hopped back in the car with my eyes set on the road less taken. My destination: A little farm market near Algoma, Wisconsin. My goal: The final items for a local Christmas food basket.

After finding my items (and shhh...a few extra that will come in handy for tomorrow's celebration of the Feast of St. Nicholas), I found myself taking county road after country road to make my way back to the highway. Hands bundled in mittens with Bing Crosby crooning "Adeste Fideles", I drove past family farm after family barn. A light blustering of snowflakes accompained me as I drove and thought about a simpler time.

I reminiced the days of my youth when we lived out in the country and used to take drives to see family friends. How I loved the dark drives home with warm cocoa in our bellies and Garrison Keillor on the radio. The only lights were barn spotlights and the colorful holiday lights of some of our country neighbors. When the show was over, Dad would switch on the crackling remastering of Bing Crosby on CD. I would look out the car window at the stars and find myself wondering where God was "up there". How was it that Jesus was born? How did Jesus get from Heaven to earth? How could I possibly celebrate the birth of Jesus when it was so long ago?

Then we would arrive home. Mom would open the door and the cold chill of the winter wind would come rushing in and the overhead car light would sharply interrupt the dark quiet that had taken root in my soul. My mind was drawn to the practical things of finding my shoes, helping my younger sisters to the house, and making my way to bed without a fuss.

Nowadays, I live in that place of "practical things" more often than I would like. A college degree, a marriage, a home, and two children later, I find less and less time for the wonderings, and wanderings, of life. I suppose to some knowledge and experience brings comfort and a sense of preparation for the unexpected. Much as a cherish my education and the journey of my life thus far, I find that the more I learn the less I realize I know. Frankly, the less I want to know.

Today God and I got to talk like we used to talk. I asked my Father questions and He listened patiently, tangents and all, and offered His perspective. I simply got to be...to be loved...and to love back in all wonder.

What a great gift as we approach the feast of St. Nicholas. What a great gift indeed.

Tradition: Movies, Burgers, and Spoons

This post is a bit belated considering we received 12 inches of snow during a major blizzard this weekend, but I wanted to write about our perfect first snowfall none the less.

Here in Green Bay, we got a 1-2 inch dusting the first week of December. It happened to be a Wednesday date night and Kevin and I were scheduled to go see the newest Harry Potter movie. Recently Kevin has been quite insistent that we shake up our date night routine which has come to include mostly just dinner. The movie was good although I'm definitely not a Potter die-hard. Even though we had polished off a large popcorn and Diet Pepsi, somehow we still felt the need for dinner. With only 45 minutes before our babysitter went "off-duty" we decided to make a quick stop in at Culvers.

$8 later we found ourselves sitting in a nearly empty restaurant surrounded by gaudy tinsel, hanging snowflakes, and pictures frames haphazardly wrapped as Christmas presents. We sat quietly in our booth listening to George Straight espouse the joys of the season while we watched the snow fall outside.

It really felt like the beginning or end of a "partners for life" movie or television show. The camera zooms in (or out) on the unlikely couple in the diner eating a random assortment of breakfast and comfort foods and laughing gently at the events of the day.

That's Kevin and I. Unlikely partners for life. Our love story is one for the movies. I don't mean the anecdotal romantic comedy, but the journey of two strange birds indy film. God took two independent old-souls and gifted them with His will to love one another. Then he added two little souls, one with dimples and the other with a crooked smile. All slightly impish, there are days when I feel like we should live in hobit's hollow somewhere! And there are those that would call our charming home just that...:)

After a wonderful date night we returned home to our hollow to complete our family tradition for the first snow. The day of the first "real" snow (meaning it sticks) we end the day with a cup of hot cocoa and my porcelain snowman spoons.

It may not be the most elaborate of traditions. It may not be the most desirable of traditions. But for us, it is not the action, but the repetion that allows us a few moments to reflect on the journey and blessings behind us.

This year I think we've learned that perhaps traditions can grow. At this time next year maybe you'll find us at a local Culvers enjoying a burger and the everyday holiness that is our lives.

Thanksgiving Shepherd's Pie!

John Ross and his Irish buddy Ian watching the big trucks pick up leaves!

It's snowing here in Green Bay!!!!! The roads are covered and John Ross spent his entire breakfast (2 bowls of cereal and a container of yogurt) gazing out the dining room window and repeating "Whoa..." The first snow is a good day here at the Boerschinger home. But, I digress...

Thanksgiving is a wonderful holiday at our home. Kevin spent many years deprived of turkey because it was the preferred meat at his family home. I believe in a full turkey dinner with all of the fixings. Most, if not all, is homemade.

The thing with a homemade Thanksgiving at our house is that there are TONS of leftovers in various proportions. Howeve, when it comes to Thanksgiving, I cannot justify throwing anything out. I believe in using everything to its fullest capacity to respect the gift of food we've been given. I start by making turkey stock with the carcass and move on to soup with the stock and leftover meat and turkey paninis and cranberry sauce. Then the ingredients start to dwindle a bit...To avoid eating a final lonely lunch of stuffing and squishy corn, I came up with a new recipe this year!

Cue the Thanksgiving shepherd's pie!

The Irish tradition of shepherd's pie is at its simplest a deep dish of meat and vegetables smothered with a gravy-like sauce and topped with a thick layer of toasted mashed potatoes.

Ours consisted of leftover corn, leftover stuffing, chopped turkey (dark meat), leftover green bean casserole, and leftover gravy. I topped it with our leftover mashed potatoes which this year were made of sweet potatoes, russet potatoes, parsnips, butter, sour cream, heavy cream and chives. I warmed it all in the oven for about 30 minutes at about 375 and then cranked it up to about 425 to toast the top of the potatoes.

Everybody loved it! It was so yummy that this mama doesn't even mind the prospect of eating it for lunch every day this week.

I think the trick for us busy mamas who want to save time and money is to revisit the classic dishes and flavors and tweak them just slightly to fit whatever is in our pantry. Or perhaps leftover containers...

Fall: My Season

I love the fall. There is nothing quite like the feeling of walking out of the house and smelling the decay of leaves and the crisp fall air. I love the slight bite in the wind and the gently warmth I feel when I enter an establishment. I love bundling up and taking the kids for a walk.

For many, fall signifies a time of death and darkness. While I mourn the end of Saturday morning market with the final ritual canning and a savory butternut squash soup, I embrace the peace and life I find in the shortening days of autumn.

There is a slowing of life in the enveloping darkness of the late days of fall. I identify with a mama bear as my instinct to hibernate kicks in. I become more efficient and less concerned with the stress of the world. My priorities naturally shift to a greater focus on my family and for a short period of time each year society supports my priorities with sappy commercials about family holidays and especially patient church-goers.

John Ross was born at the end of November. Nothing more life-giving than that. I can't eat Thanksgiving dinner without remembering those last precious (and impatient) hours that my son was still inside me.

And on the tail of the fall season is Advent. The anticipation of the impending arrival of the Savior is certainly known to this mama. This year however, it is the peace and hush that I hope to embrace.

Yes, my children are 2 and 7 months.

Yes, I am a working mama.

Yes, I hosted Thanksgiving and Christmas is out of town this year.

I figure, if Mary can manage to give birth to Jesus in a cave and invite the shepherds in to view the little man a few hours later, I can find a few moments of peace each night to be quiet and remember God's provision. Perhaps, by Christmas, I will be ready to welcome the Savior into my heart and not just my home.

I've Never Been So Thankful for Lunch!

My son invited me to lunch the other day. This may not seem significant at first glance, but he's 2.

I sat him down for lunch and turned to go to the kitchen to do my usual chores while he ate. As I stepped across the threshold between the two rooms, I heard an insistent “Aye! Aye!” and turned around to see him repeatedly pointing his finger to the table and saying “Seat! Seat!” He was clearly inviting me to join him for our meal. He had classified meal time as family time. He had internalized our pattern and simply made it a part of himself. He didn’t have to think about it, he just acted as the Spirit prompted him.

At this time of year, between family and holidays, it is easy to get caught up in the necessity of doing. We must do the shopping, do the cooking, and do the driving. Then we must do the working to pay for the shopping and the cooking and the driving. Often, in all of our doing, we forget to be present in the moment and give thanks for the gift of ourselves.

The life of a steward begins when you realize that all you have and more importantly, all you are, is a gift. John Ross’ invitation was to more than just lunch. He invited me to simply be that which God has made me. Through my 2-year-old, Jesus called me out of my doing and invited me to sit at His feet as a mother, a wife, and a beautiful daughter of God.

Status Update: Amberly Says Goodbye to Facebook

Perhaps you've noticed that I haven't been very consistent about writing on this blog lately. It has been just one of many creative casualties of Facebook. Below you will find a note I sent to my closest Facebook friends about why I was choosing to delete my account. I hope you will join me here regularly for updates!

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Hello all you lovely ladies,

I’m just writing a quick note to those on my Facebook account who have made an effort to meet me or stay connected to me. After taking a few extended hiatuses from Facebook this past year, I’ve decided to delete my account. Without going into too much detail, Facebook has become a time and creativity sucker for me and my family. I am tired of feeling like I have lost time and energy to something that is supposed to be community-building. If I am going to spend time building community, I should be seeking depth instead of breadth. In being honest with myself, Facebook is a way for me as an introvert to “communicate” without having to make much effort and it feeds a very unhealthy passive-aggressive nature within me. While the disconnected, no pressure nature of Facebook may seem appealing to me on the surface, it is not the person I want to be in the lives of those I care about. I was created for something greater. I am a woman and I was designed to fill the empty space within me by way of deep relationships with others. Facebook keeps me from answering that call. Don’t get me wrong…I love my technology and will likely rely on e-mail for the convenience factor and will continue to update my winkflash pages with my photos.

So, I’m going to be deleting my account as soon as I can get my data extracted and all my items deleted. I hope to be complete by the end of next week. Whether an old or new friend, I do want to stay in touch, I just want to do so in a deeper way. Please contact me by phone or by e-mail. I am also on Skype. If you are one of those people who enjoy seeing photos of my children, touch base with me and I will give you our family Winkflash page and password.

Please know that this choice is a reflection on none of you and instead a choice I am making for my own heart and the well-being of my family.

Many blessings to you!

Our Little Souls

I have two children. This is my beautiful daughter. She is only 6 months old and yet I can see in her eyes what a beautiful young woman she will be one day. I can see the joy and radiance of God in her little smile and I can hear God's voice when she laughs from her belly.

As Catholics and Christians we talk about our co-creation with God. After having my children, I know understand that it applies to so much more than birth control, conception, and the mystery that is pregnancy. God gifted Kevin and me with these children and entrusted us as stewards of their lives and their futures. Together, through prayer and faith, we co-create these precious children. We nurture their bodies, their minds, and their little souls.

Wow, what an awesome calling.

It certainly gives me some perspective for those moments when my rambuctious two-year-old is flinging folded towels across the living room and trying to bite everything that makes contact with his lower canines and my daughter is screeching for rice cereal and whining for mama's arms. We're co-creating and this moment is yours LORD!

Feeling Exhausted

No inspirational message tonight. Just typing in solidarity with the thousands of parents out there who are exhausted at the end of today. When you ask what I did today: The children were dressed, the children were diapered, the children were fed, the children are still alive. If dinner is burnt, just be grateful that dinner made it to the oven at all.

A Great Hubby!

I just needed to take some time to recognize a very important person in my life.

This is someone without whom my life would have less meaning, less purpose, and certainly less excitement. Someone who is dedicated above all else to the well being of me and my children sometimes at the expense of his own desires.

My husband Kevin is by far the most selfless person in my life and that is saying a lot because I know some AMAZING people. From taking on the role of heavy lifter for our 14-month-old son as I reach my 6th month with #2 to getting out of bed at 3 a.m. on the coldest night of the year to tape our creeky back door closed, he is our all.

He generously gives of his time and patience, giving me every opportunity to pursue my passions and being there as a soft place to fall when things don't go as I expected. His flexibility has so often relieved my anxious nature. His sense of humor brings so much light and joy to our lives. And so much laughter...including that which is currently resonating from John Ross' belly as he tries to stick his finger in daddy's ear...

We are a schweetie team and I can't imagine my life any different. After nearly 3 years, I love him more today than I did when I married him.

Ladies, if you have a man in your life like this, tell him so. In fact, tell the world. Our wonderful husbands deserve as much recognition as we do for all the things that get done in our families.

They say that women typically outlive men. I truly believe that our longevity and their early demise can be wholly atributed to their complete fulfillment of their lives as men and their vocations as husband and father. They are designed by God to act upon others and fully spend themselves in support of the lives around them.

I love you Kevin. I am completely unworthy of the gift I have been given in you, but I am ever so grateful for every moment.