Introducing Mr. Nutsy!

Much to my surprise and delight, Kevin surprised me with permission to start looking for a dog for Christmas. I grew up with pups ALL my life. I don't think there was a moment of my childhood that didn't include a dog. However, early marriage and young children are not super conducive to the attention a dog requires and Kevin isn't a huge dog person.

He has seen me pining. Pining for my sister's dogs, pining for my friends' dogs and desperately waiting. I made a concerted effort not to push the issue. A dog is a big commitment and I never wanted it to be a source of resentment. I had resigned myself to the fact that a dog was going to have to wait until at the very least all young things could feed and dress themselves. And then he sprung it on me...

Kevin told me that he had been looking at a dog for me, but he didn't want to make the decision without consulting me. I nearly jumped out of my skin as much as a mom can without raising the hopes and expectations of her children.

But...

We decide we wanted to welcome a rescue dog into our home and quite frankly as the process went on I began to believe that im it very well have to trade my firstborn in order to convince anyone to let us love a dog. We looked at and inquired about four dogs.

Dog 1: Despite a bio that said she was good with kids, we were denied because she was too skittish for kids. ???

Dog 2: We called, we drove 4 hours round trip to visit, we loved on him and filled out an application. I called to thank the shelter. I called to follow up on the application. I never received any further information even after being promised a call later that afternoon. I found out through a Facebook post that he had been adopted...???

Dog 3: Loved him, inquired, applied, talked with a lovely rescue worker and waited for a call from the foster mom. Got an email stating that foster mom was keeping him. After a year of fostering him, our interest sparked her desire to finally adopt him???

Dog 4: Perfect. Small, young, but not a puppy. Good breed. Good with kids and cats. Our applucation was the best fit. We set up the perfect time to visit on our way through town as she was being fostered 2 hours from our home. We got there and she hid in the corner. I picked her up to love on her and she quivered. She shook every time our kids walked up. The foster dad tells the kids to be careful because he doesn't want her to bite their faces. ??? Then he tells us that her spay incontinence is under control, but she doesn't ride well in the car - poos, pees, and pukes in the car. ???

Dog 5: We almost didn't visit him. He was bigger than we wanted. We had just set up the visit with Dog 4 and were to,d we would need to make a decision quickly because there were other applications behind us. Having already applied to meet Dog 5 who was being fostered in the same city as Dog 4 we wanted to meet them both, but we were waiting on application approval before we could be put in touch with his foster mom. I sent a Hail Mary email and prayer asking if there was any chance that during the rescues holiday shutdown that we could even meet Peanut. The night before we were to be travelling we got the call. His foster mom spent 30 minutes telling me all about him and agreed that we could meet him the next day on our way through! Kevin's response, "You still want to meet him?"

My response, "We might as well."

We met him after the fateful first meeting of Dog 4. We were disheartened and disillusioned. We pulled up the foster's home in a neighborhood that looked suspiciously Like our old neighborhood. We were welcomed with open arms in their home and their lives. Peanut was energetic and immediately took to me. He showed off his tricks and his love of television and food. We now understood why he was overweight. The family that surrendered him had fed him primarily people food - white bread and sausage sandwiches were he favorites.??? He was well trained, but had been surrendered because his family had gotten a puppy. ??? He had already lost some weight but needed to lose more.

Not five minutes in, I mouthed to Kevin, "He is it!" Our rescue had a 5 day foster period to make sure the dog is a good fit. I wanted to take him with us that day! I didn't want to leave him! However, we were on our way to my parents house for the weekend and didn't want to confuse him. We agreed to pick him up on Sunday.

Sunday was a miserable cold and snowy day. Instead of a nice visit, we picked him up in a flash, but he jumped right in and settled down. And the rest is history.

Peanut is an amazing dog. Loving, friendly, communicates well, and such a sweet companion. He is a six-year-old pointer/terrier/border collie mix. He is house-trained and despite the bitter cold and snow has not had a single accident. He is a land shark and will do anything for food. He stole cucumbers off my salad one day and then stole a bunch of bananas off the counter and proceeded to eat half of one, peel and all. It's a learning curve, but we are managing!

Already I can't imagine life without him. We are a dog family now and Mr. Nutsy makes us better than we were before. We can't wait to enjoy him outdoors as the weather improves!

And as per the theme of our family, we almost missed out on him. But God knew...

Stay awake for a lifetime of the unexpected!

 

 

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Holy Week 2012

Yikes...this was a post I started during Holy Week! Please pardon the date discrepancies!

It's here. Another Holy Week. Finally.

I have truly been anticipating this week. It is the first week in months that I don't have any evening commitments. It is the first week in months when I don't have another project or committment coming up. My freelance work is complete or in limbo for the time being and life at the parish turns solely to liturgical celebrations putting my catechetical and evangelical brain at rest.

Some of you may recall my Lenten efforts - declutter physically in order to declutter/destress/focus mentally. Essentially, make more room in my head for God.

Here are my results - in photos! Though there are no photos, I did also tackle our pantry and a lot of our freezer. By this time, they're almost full up again!

Questions Before 30: Feminist or No?

So, it is officially a birthday in my late-twenties which means it is an appropriate time for question number two in my 30 Before Thirty series.

Am I a feminist?

This question is a recurring one in my life. As an outspoken little girl, a graduate of an all-women's college, and a female lay minister in the Catholic church I've had more than my fair share of occassions on which to reflect on my role in the world. Today the question was raised because of a statement written in the most recent edition of Sr. Joan Chitister's e-newsletter. It read;

"Only then did the brave ones begin to write about the kind of harems the West had constructed for its own women; the closeted wife of the nuclear family whose role was to maintain the conspicuous consumption that demostrated her husband's success..."

I thought that feminism was about having a choice. So long as my choice is free, keeps me free and does not impinge on the freedom of others, my choice should not be in conflict with the feminist belief, right? Apparently not.

Admittedly, her comment followed a series of true statements about how many things have been revealed in the feminine world and genius in the past 50 years. However, in noting those things she also implied that women today, "...risk wallowing in self-deception" as, "...we fail to admit that nothing much has changed as a result of them."

While I have a deep respect for the men and women in this world who have answered God's call to vowed religious life, I do not appreciate my vocation to married and family life being put in a box by a woman who has chosen neither. Furthermore, should she not be criticizing my generation's choices or situation, she still encroaches on the choices of my mother and grandmothers without whose choices I would not exist.

I care to respectfully differ with her opinion. While I am grateful for the great work that was done on behalf of the freedom of women, I believe that some of that same work is done at the expense of women's freedom. I have never been able to call myself a feminist for two reasons: 1. I believe that the true feminist is one that supports a woman's ability to freely choose her way of life and 2. I want to be uniquely feminine.

Let me expand. I believe that the true feministy is one that supports a woman's ability to freely choose her way of life. Freely, in my belief system, is that which makes one free. Choices that enslave me to grief, physical ill-being, or relational co-dependancy do not free me. The areas of financial stability, materialism, family planning, chemical abuse, medicine, and unhealthy relationships of any type are rife with choices that have the potential to enslave me.

It is of the utmost importance to me that I have all the options laid out for me in these areas - to be well-educated before making a radical decision. Instead, many "feminist" efforts lead women to believe that only one option suits their best interest without offering the freedom of a true, educated choice.

Moreover, if I choose to stay home to serve my husband and family by way of cooking meals, teaching values and maintaining a hospitable home, then so be it. If I choose to work full time and send my children to daycare, so be it. If I choose something in between, so be it. My way of living, so long as the decision is made freely and does not impinge on the freedom of others, is as valid as another woman's choice. No philosophy that claims to free women should imply that my choice enslaves me to a "harem" of any sort, western or otherwise.

Just because we can doesn't mean we should. Take Eve for example. God gave Eve the ability to eat of the forbidden fruit. All she had to do was reach up and grab for it. However, the lesson of that story is one of temptation and turning one's back on God's will. She used her free-will to eat of a fruit that enslaved her, and generations to come, to lives aware of and tempted by sin.

And reason number two I have never been able to call myself a feminist is that I desire to be uniquely feminine. I have no desire to be the equal of a man. Those that have accepted the "...male eye..." as implied in Sr.'s reflection have done so not at the hands of ignorance or oversight, but at the hands of a movement that has promoted an equality that can never exist. I am a woman with unique insights, perspectives, and gifts that are different from those of a man. Physically, chemically, and phsychologically we are different. Were we the same, credit to the great wisdom of our Lord, our species, as designed, would not be able to pro-create.

Moreover, men and women around this world and in this church are co-creators with the Divine. Together, we build God's kingdom on earth. I need not be a man to make my contributions count anymore than I need to be American. I stand grateful and humbled by the many gifts and priviledges that being a white, American woman has afforded me. That being said, I have not come anywhere close to the generosity and selflessness of men and women just like me around the world who are doing more than I am to use their God-given gifts to the best of their ability with much less priviledge than I. I stand in awe of them as they fight, like me, to live their baptism.

Fr. Robert Barron makes a short, but wonderful case for the ultimate role and power of a man or a woman of faith. Ultimately, wouldn't you prefer sainthood?

As a representative of one of the newest adult generations of the Church, I firmly believe that much has changed for me as a woman in my Church. I have a voice that in my experience has only been silenced by a previous generation of women who don't want to hear my experience of the teachings and truth of our faith. I have a role that has yet to be challenged where I can form my family, my friends, and the other women in my community. I serve under a Bishop who appointed a married mother of 2 to the USCCB committee on evangelization and catechesis because he recognize the importance of her presence and perspective in their vision for teaching our next generation. I am grateful to be a woman in this church and grateful for the complementarity of my unique gender.

There are indeed times and ways in which the Church takes caution not to simply bend at the whims of popular culture. Perhaps that is why the Church has existed for 2,000 plus years while most political, economic and fashion statements exist but a generation or two.

My ultimate answer: feminist, no. A feminine image of God's great spirit who believes in the unique complementarity of all God's creations, absolutely.

I am woman, hear me love.

My Absence: Not Intentional, Just Cluttered

Well, it's been awhile. It's not that I haven't had anything to talk about. Just the opposite: there's been WAY TOO MUCH to talk about and I've been too overwhelmed to write.

I've got three different posts started, but they get stuck between my head and my fingers. The obstacle in their path is my heart.

The other day I walked into my boss's office while she was having a casual conversation with our pastor. I said something about "after this, things will calm down" and she responded, "you're always saying that, but things never seem to calm down."

As if on cue our pastor responds, "Not this side of the grave it won't."

That is when it occurred to me. Only in Heaven will I find peace from the chaos. However, we are all on a journey to Heaven. On that journey there must be a way to create a life that reflects the peace and joy of God's Kingdom since that is what we have our eyes on. One would like to believe that God would allow to at least practice, if not perfect that type of order and joy. It is only with a clear head, heart, and home that I can create that peaceful mental space for myself and my family.

This Lent, I believe I have a calling. It is a calling that has been percolating since we moved. It is a call to truly simplify. In addition to our annual pantry clearing Lenten efforts, I will be purging closets, dressers, storage spaces and cupboards in an attempt to de-clutter our physical spaces and reinvigorate our mental spaces. Perhaps by Easter we can celebrate a little bit of Heaven on this side of the grave.