My Baby Bear Turns One

My sweet little Clara Ann turned one on Monday. Sadly, the last weeks have been so busy that I am quite delayed on her birthday post. Delayed but not forgotten.

Clara got a double dose of fire in her personality. Compared to my even-tempered little man, Clara has no patience, no tolerance, and a stubborn streak that could get her an oceanside view in Arizona.

She is not the marathon sleeper that her brother was and spent many a night bonding with daddy well into the second half of her first year. Though she resists sleep, she needs it and is so much more pleasant when she wakes up from a good rest.

She only has 4 teeth: the two bottoms ons and her fangs. She really looks like a tiny little vampire.

She talked a lot sooner than John Ross. She has a very raspy, deep little voice which usually cracks people up when they first hear it. While she spent the first many months growling, her first word was "gentle" which comes out sounding like "GEN-toe". It is quite amusing when she actually growls the word. While we were in FL this spring, her auntie bumped her head on the stroller while putting her in and she softly whined "GEN-tooooeee". Her second word was "touchdown" which everyone worked very hard on prior to the Superbowl seeing that she was born in Green Bay.

She is a SUPER-eater! She does not gag on her food or resist anything we give her which makes her a joy compared to her brother at that age. She loves bananas and graham crackers and is learning to use a spoon. Unfortunately, right now that means using her fingers to eat things off the spoon, but every painter starts by fingerpainting, right?

She inherited mommy's chin and thunder-thighs. She hates wearing dresses because she can't power-crawl in them and she doesn't look good in pastels. She is bright and bold and a ball of love. Her best feature is her dusky blue eyes and pink little lips and they are best when her cheeks are rosy and she's giving kisses. I love every padded, pudgy inch of her.

We've called her Scrappy from the time she was in the womb, but she also goes by Beara, Clarie, Clarita, Scappa, and Clara-bear.

She is my snuggler and the best birthday gift she gave her mama was an hour of snuggling in the baby wrapper at Easter Sunday Mass. She lays in my arms and gazes up at me lovingly no matter what her size. Her sweet little wistful smile always leaves me wondering who this beautiful little girl is going to be.

She will take her first steps this week and who knows where those little feet and fiery personality will take her. All I know for certain is that God has BIG plans for my LITTLE bear and I pray that God shows me exactly what maps she needs!

A Home for Nuthatches

I'm sitting in my dining room this morning working on an assortment of tasks from bills to parishioner welcome cards. One of my sitters likes to pull back the sheer curtain on our front window so that the kids can watch the cars while they eat lunch. Yesterday she didn't put it back and so I'm looking out onto our front yard and the busy street.

A couple of years ago, Kevin decided to overhaul the landscaping in our front yard. His dad is in the landscaping business and has a large nursery of various plants not too far from here. During this particular project, Kevin decided to transplant a less-then-thriving weeping mulberry that he had rescued from his grandmother's home before they sold it. It has since taken root and thrived in our front yard.

It is a small but beautifully melancholy tree. Most people wouldn't give it a second thought and we both fear as we try to sell our house that the new owners won't appreciate it's history. It really wouldn't survive another transplant and so we must reluctantly leave it behind.

As I looked out at our mulberry today I spotted two new residents: a pair of nuthatches. As they bopped and hopped their way around the small tree I felt a deep sense of sadness that they were moving in just as we are (hopefully) moving out. I watched them poke their bodies into a knot as they cleaned out a little space of their own.

As I watched them diligently go about their task and heard them peep cheerfully, I realized that God was sending me a sign. No matter where we go and when we get there, we too will carve out our little space in the world. We too will create a safe and soft place for our family to grow. And while we may not be able to take it with us, our mulberry tree (and its residents) are part of our legacy of love at this home. We hope that our love of this place will bless the new residents.

Please keep our family in prayer as we wait for a buyer to secure financing for our home. We are living in limbo since we can't make decisions about a new home until we are certain that someone can buy this one. We ask for patience and peace, but are also so grateful for this experience. It has allowed us to more fully enter into the season of Lent and the waiting for new life at Easter.

Recent Weekly Menu

John Ross looks so little here! Since they could eat solids my kids have not stopped eating. Meals come every 3-5 hours no matter what other work needs to be done or how long the day has already been. As much as I love fast food, it needs to remain a treat for both our the health of our bodies and the health of our checking account. That takes some planning.

For the busy women out there, here is my weekly menu! Mix, substitute and complement as necessary! Good stewardship of the body is as easy a little bit of whole wheat and a container of fresh spinach!

Monday: Crockpot Beef Roast Over Whole Wheat Egg Noodles

Tuesday: Family Date Night @ Chili's

Wednesday: Crockpot Vegetable Vindaloo Over Brown Rice and Chicken with Naan

Thursday: Sausage Potato Soup (but I leave out the heavy cream and use turkey sausage - swiss chard also works in place of kale), Spinach Salad, and French Bread

Friday: Fish Fry @ Church with My Family

Saturday: Raspberry-Chipotle Shredded Pork Tacos, Black Beans, Tortilla Chips and Salsa

Sunday: Whole Wheat Spaghetti and Meatballs, Spinach Salad and French Bread

My favorite spinach salad right now is fresh spinach, grape tomatoes, and shredded cheese topped with some basil olive oil and freshly cracked pepper! Mangia!

Living Lent Through a Slice of Bread

Image by premus on Flickr

The next time you pack lunches or make yourself a sandwich snack, I invite you to think about this!


Slice of bread - Just as you eat a piece of a loaf of bread, you are a piece of the Body of Christ and the Resurrection community. May we live a welcoming life that leaves none lonely or hungry.


Knife - The Christian life is not always easy. Lent is a great time for us to cut away some of our bad habits by way of prayer, fasting and sharing of resources. May this trimming make more room for God in our hearts.


Spread - There are as many spiritual journeys as there are toppings for bread. We are all called to spread the message of Jesus to those around us and more often than not, we do so by the way that we live.


Beverage - Just as Jesus was anointed with the perfumed oil and then poured himself out for us upon the cross, may we pour ourselves out in service to others, those we love and those we may not even know.


Napkin - We all make mistakes, but Jesus was the first to offer forgiveness to the sinner. May we seek and offer forgiveness regularly and allow God to wipe our hearts clean!

Our Vacation in Photos

We had a fabulous vacation with my family in Orlando this weekend! I really think we couldn't have spent any more time by the pool or in the sunshine. It was amazing and we are SO grateful to my generous parents for giving us an experience that we will never forget!

John Ross in the Green Bay airport

Clara Ann sporting her new sippy at the airport

John Ross climbing his first palm tree

My little girl is SO big!

My sister and brother-in-law!

Fire dancer at the luau

My brother at the luau...

John Ross loved my sunglasses!

The boys watching cartoons in the family dining room while we ate in peace!

Clara wasn't sure what to do with the sand

John Ross loved the mess!

Fabulous picture of my focused little swimmer!

John Ross never stopped eating and insisted upon eating EVERYONE's food. Here he is sharing with his "Sissy"

The guys in the family spent a lot of time at the Universal theme parks and this was Kevin and my dad hanging out at Hogmeads in the Wizarding World of Harry Potter!

Women in the Church

I was recently asked to reflect on the importance of women's spirituality opportunities from my role as a speaker and facilitor for Catholic women's events. This was the testimony I wrote for a parish facing questions about the importance of their women's events.


As Catholic women, I think we are in a unique time. In society today, more and more women are taking on the role of the spiritual head of household. They are hungry for time in the Red Tent; time with other women, time to grow, and the nourishment to feed their souls. From a Catholic standpoint we’ve spent a lot of time trying “not to loose” our Christian women because we need their service and their gifts instead of trying to inspire and offer opportunities for growth in our uniquely CATHOLIC faith. Many women are finding support in other ways like online communities and evangelical Bible studies. I believe that women who call themselves Catholic deserve more attention than we as a church are currently giving them.

From someone who has seen HUGE response to Catholic women’s programs here in Green Bay, I can say that everything we hear from women is that they need community and formation that comes from the other women in their community. There is no one who understands the experience of a woman better than another woman. In a world where we don’t have our mothers, grandmothers, sisters and aunts as readily available to teach us about the faith journey of a woman, our parish community has become more important, not less, in our life journey.

When we ask women to evaluate their experiences after an event, most of our women indicate that they are still hungry. They want more. They want opportunities to learn about women in the Bible. They want evenings to gather and discuss relevant books. They want regional pilgrimages, weekend retreats, and mother/daughter opportunities. They also want to see the men in their lives be offered similar experiences. There is no lack of need in the lives of the women I serve, but a lack of supply of Catholic speakers, parishes, and dioceses that are willing and able to provide these experiences.

The women at the Red Tent event at your parish said all that needs to be said about experiences like this. At the beginning of the event each woman shared their unique reason for being there, but all of them indicating a need for growth and understanding. One woman stopped me at the lunch hour and said, “I can’t believe it’s noon already! I thought I was going to go home after lunch and get some of the stuff I thought I “needed” to get done, but I have realized through the morning that this is what I need.” And another said, “It is nice to have someone else tell me that my spiritual life is important and someone who makes time to help me grow.”

For a Church and religion that puts such an emphasis on the role of our mother Mary and relies so heavily on the day-to-day contributions of women we cannot simply leave our unique spirituality and formation to adult formation and catechesis. We need significant experiences of Christ and Christ’s community of women to continue to motivate us and by extension our families to live holy lives.

From a more practical standpoint, while there are certainly women in the local community that could be called upon to offer reflections and retreat days, it is often important to bring in speakers who are from beyond your community. Just like children are more likely to listen to the advice of adults other than their parents so are women who believe that the message being offered them isn’t tempered by the needs of their parish.

Most certainly, speakers cost money. Having spent time talking with other women who speak like I do, we do our best to balance the financial needs and limitations of the communities we serve and our need to help support our families. When you pay a Catholic speaker, you are not simply writing a check to a faceless corporation for a material or service. You are often writing a check to a Catholic family that uses the money to further support the mission of the Church. For my family, the stipend for the presentation I gave this weekend will allow my husband and me to take an extra day off this summer in order to stop and stay a day at a pilgrimage site on our way to a family vacation. It is the first of what we hope will be many trips for our young children that will define the national and international reach of their faith family.

Working for a parish I know as well as anyone the annual back and forth of balancing a budget. I know the cost/benefit analysis that surrounds every good thing that we do. I do encourage you to continue having meaningful conversations about the spiritual growth and priorities of the women in your community. John Paul II called us to a “New Feminism” and there is no better time than now to embrace that call and empower Catholic women in service of the Gospel.

Daybook March 2011

I'm feeling a bit of the winter blues and decided it was time for a daybook entry!
Outside My Window ...
Darkness. I love the feeling and quiet of darkness.

***

I am listening to...
Chatter. All day long I hear chatter even when no one else is talking. It is hard to turn the world off!

***

To Live the Liturgy…
I am yearning for a week of family meals. My work schedule has taken me away from my family table over dinner many nights in the last month and I miss that daily aspect of the liturgy.

***

To be Fit and Happy….
Not enough, but when it gets to that point I fall back on drinking lots of water. It is the least I can do.

***

I am thankful for ...

My supportive and active husband. Without him I couldn't do the things I am gifted to do. Without him, my dreams would remain just that.

***

From the kitchen ...
Not much. We've been eating a lot of soup because it freezes and warms again easily. I'm looking forward to the culinary challenge that is our Lenten practice. Check it out here!

***

I am creating ...
Homemade play food for Clara's birthday. I've got the material for pancakes, waffles, and tacos cut and the base for my chocolate chip cookies painted. I'm also working on pretty little tea biscuits and cherries to go with some wooden tea bags! At the rate I am going, I am just grateful her birthday is at the end of April!
***

I am reading….
Still working on A Year in the Life of Food by Barbara Kingsolver. I get about 5 pages each week...:)

***

Towards a real education ...
This week I am just allowing myself to be educated by daily life.

***

Bringing beauty to my home ...
We have committed as a couple to looking at the next day in a positive light instead of stressful countenances. We are working on smiles and laughter and not so many tears.

***

I am hoping and praying….

That the uncertainties in life settle themselves a bit so we can have a few moments to adjust to our new normal. The warmer weather and sunshine can't hurt the process either...

***

Around the house ...
We are keeping up and I am so grateful for my go-getter baby sitter who sweeps the floors and loads the dishwasher without being asked.

***

One of my favorite things ...
My teacup. 10 minutes for boiling water, 3-5 minutes for steeping and 10 minutes for drinking = 25 minutes for ME!

***

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week...
Working, working, working...even my playtime this week is working! I am going on my 3rd of three dual-purpose weekends of women's ministry and parish ministry. They are wonderful and I am so grateful, but I am looking forward to a weekend to spend with my sweet, small little family.

***

In pictures...

My Most Recent Therapy Session

Now, now, before you skip over this post in fear of some strange Freudian reflection, my therapy happens in my very own kitchen and my therapists include various flours, spices, and chocolates.

Yesterday was my birthday and I worked all morning at the parish. I love my job, but a birthday spent working leaves a bit to be desired. After spending the last 26 days working at the parish or being on the road for speaking engagements, I was ready for a break. I told Kevin that the one thing I really wanted to do today was spend some time in the kitchen.

I have a lot of opportunities in life to be creative, but there is nothing quite like being creative in the kitchen. Chinese healers have long believed that things like bread and noodle-making is the perfect treatment for stress because of the demanding physical manipulation. For me it is the sights, smells and sensations of digging your hands into a good dough that makes all the difference in my mood. I also love the joy that it brings to those who walk through my home or eat my food.

This birthday was a lot about feeding my soul. After an unbelievable meal and bottle of red wine at a local italian restaurant last night (an all-plans-made-surprise from my thoughtful and generous husband) and an afternoon in the kitchen, my soul is warm and satisfied. My muscles are loose, my mouth is watering, and my house smells like my home. It doesn't get much better than this.

Today's recipes included: lemon tiramisu (but I used Lemoncello liquer in place of the hazelnut liquer and substituted blueberries for the chopped hazelnuts), chocolate-chip scones, rum-raisin scones, hot wing dip, chicken and dried beef and raspberry jello salad. (The final two being my favorite meal from my childhood and my birthday meal!) You can find the base scone recipe here and the wing dip and dinner recipes to follow!

Wing Dip
5 oz. Franks Hot Sauce
2 - 8oz packages of cream cheese (softened)
1/2 cup of finely chopped celery
1 cup finely shredded cheddar cheese
1 cup cooked chicken, chopped

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mix hot sauce and cream cheese together until smooth. Mix in celery, cheese, and chicken and place mixture in oven safe dish. Bake dip in oven for 20-30 minutes and serve warm with crackers, chips or celery.

Chicken and Dried Beef
6-8 Chicken tenders or 3-4 sliced chicken breasts
1 jar of dried beef (found in the canned tuna section)
1 can of cream of mushroom soup
1/2 cup of sour cream
splash of milk

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Wrap your chicken in the dried beef and place in an oven-safe casserole dish. Mix the soup and sour cream together and add milk until the mixture is a saucy consistency. Pour the sauce over the wrapped chicken. Cook in the oven for 50 minutes until bubbly on top. Serve over cooked white or brown rice.

Raspberry Jello Salad
1 cup boiling hot water
1 small pkg. raspberry jello
1 cup applesauce
1 bag of frozen raspberries

Optional:
1/2 container of cool whip
1/2 cup of sour cream
1/2 cup of mini marshmallows

In a large bowl, pour hot water over the jello powder and stir until jello is completely dissolved. Stir in cup of applesauce and raspberries. Put in refrigerator to set. If using topping, wait until the jello is set. Mix together the ingredients and spread over top of jello.

Deafening but Deepening?

Our home is far from the center of marital bliss in northeast Wisconsin. The combination of the winter blues, a overscheduled calendar, 2 children under two years of age, a state budget crisis and two stubborn, pigheaded spouses just begs for some kind of chemical explosion. Ours happened on Kevin’s 38th birthday…over a cup of tea.

Actually, it was the spilling of foresaid beverage that prompted the explosion. And it wasn’t so much the spilling, but a disagreement about who was to clean up the carpet.

Who started the fire, or the parameters are not important. Nor is the fact that one of us ended up locked in the bathroom sobbing.

The real issue at hand is that each person has their breaking point. Each person has a moment where the oatmeal hits the floor, the pot boils over, or the diaper breaches. There are just some things in life that are too much. For us, it just happened at the same time.

We had it out, but in our hearts we both just wanted a pass. We both needed someone to step up and give us a break. And neither did.

And our hearts hurt. We hate being mad at each other. We just wanted to make it better, but neither of us was willing to extend the olive branch.

By the time an early bedtime rolled around for the kids, we were both ready to just have the whole thing be over. It was as though we couldn’t get to “I’m sorry” fast enough. We talked, we listened, we cried. We didn’t solve all the problems, but we went to bed committed to being kinder to one another.

And that is the best that we can do some days. We don’t worry that it happens. We’ll worry when we no longer see it as an opportunity to communicate and grow. We’ll worry when the deafening sounds or silence no longer lead to depth.

Super Powers? I Don't Think So...

"Mom needs her coffee Sis. It's where she gets her powers."

My 5-year-old brother knows how important my mom's coffee is to her in the morning.

My son also understands and pays reverance to the magic, caffinated elixir that is my morning cup of joe. He knows not to touch it, blow on it, or fuss at me before I've poured it. In our marriage, there is never a fight over who makes the coffee because we just have an understanding that it gets made. There are days when I am near certain that the coffee fairy makes it.

My cup is the start to my day and the splash of heavy cream that I add to it is the small mama luxury that gets my day started off right.

No one need elucidate me on coffee's many flaws and disadvantages (nor the cream I put in it). I gave it up in some degree during each of my pregnancies and have sacrificed it during Lent a time or two. Having worked at a coffee shop to put myself through college (both financially and physically) brewed coffee with cream is my stepdown from the harder stuff like flavored lattes (and the daily donut that is now represented around my mid-section).

Someday I'll swear off of my caffinated crutch in favor of my other dear friend decaffinated tea. Someday, when I have a beautiful house overlooking a lake where I can sit and watch the sunrise while waiting for my grown children to call and give me the latest update on the grandchildren...Someday, when all that is on my plate for the day is cooking and reading.

Until then, this is my place in life. A place where the rich smell of roasted beans in my nose instantly clears away the cobwebs clouding my mama brain.

With One Voice...

We've been having a rough week over here. Politics have not been kind to the hearts of our household this week. It seems that an awareness of our very lives has been sidelined for the sake of an issue.

My heart aches for my hard-working husband who spent years waiting and working for a position in higher education that promised a stability for our family that had eluded him in the private sector. His hard work paid off for one short year until the recent budget crisis has once again placed him smack in the center of cuts, shrinking benefits, and the rumors of layoffs. He's gotten to the point where he seriously believes that perhaps it is him and not the flawed systems.

We've spent a lot of time wondering "why?". Why have the faces of our beautiful children been stripped from this issue? Why have our voices been ignored in favor of faceless "taxpayers" that should, in fact, include us?

We know, fully appreciate and support the need for budget reform. We deal with it on a daily basis in our own household. We are regularly making sacrifices of things that are in concept good, but are beyond our financial ability. We all make sacrifices even though our youngest members don't realize it yet. Shouldn't that be the case in politics? Shouldn't we all share equally in at least a portion of the sacrifice? We'll give what we need to under the circumstances, but don't strip us of our voice and our ability to gain back that which we have sacrificed when the tables turn for the better.

Ultimately, as we've cried and prayed over our situation this week, there is only one thing that is clear. We cannot rely on any force, organization, or leadership on this earth to provide for us. God is the only being in which we can place our trust.

Moreover, everything we have, big or small, is simply a gift entrusted to our care for a short time while on this earth. Even our paychecks, the things with our name on them, do not belong to us. The money in our checks is a gift from God for which we are called to be caretakers, or stewards.

God gives us gifts not because we deserve them, but because we are loved and because we are His children. We are called to receive that which we have been given gratefully, nuture it responsibly, share it justly, and return it abundantly to our Father in Heaven.

While we seek justice in solidarity with others, our voices are not to be one with any human. Seeking dignity for all, our voices are to be one with the angels and saints guided by the wisdom of the Spirit. We are called to trust in something unseen and look upon the darkness of the world with love and hope in something greater.

For all of you facing the darkness this week, be it loneliness, addiction, unemployment, underemployment, fear, infertility, anger, homelessness, heartlessness, incivility, silence or overscheduling, know that as the communion of saints we stand in solidarity with you. We pray that God's light will guide you through the valley and that together we will continue our journey to God's just and glorious Kingdom.

One day we will all find perfection in God.

Until then, I'll find my hope for innocence and perfection in the eyes of my children.

Welcome Women Celebrate Readers!

I spoke at a lovely women's conference today called "Women Celebrate" at the beautiful Osthoff Resort in Elkhart Lake, WI. The beautiful women who joined me there for conversation and fellowship brought great joy to my heart and I am deeply grateful for their openess and hospitality!

For those "Brides of Christ" who are coming here for the first time, welcome to my little corner of the blogosphere! I am so glad to be with you!

I've highlighted some of my favorite posts below and hope you'll visit often for new ideas, thoughts, and random ramblings! I write in this space, but more importantly, you read in this space. If there is any question, situation, or current event you would like to see me address, leave a comment and I'll do my best!

Tradition, Movies, Burgers and Spoons

Thanksgiving Shepherds Pie

Yes I Own a CSA Share and Still Shop at Sams Club

I do not propose to be an expert or even a wise woman. Perfection is far beyond me and I look to the day when I am made perfect in Heaven. Here on earth, I just do my best to honestly share my experiences and my beliefs as a wife, mother, lay-minister, and friend.

You are welcome, you are blessed! This is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Down but Out-of-Town!

We just found out that we will likely be taking a large pay cut due to legislation being proposed which will affect state workers. My husband works for the university system and without getting into politics, we are talking a yearly loss of nearly $5,500 for a position that is already paid about 30% less than the private sector (for which we are equally compensated by the nature of our additional benefits which have also been proposed to be reduced). Those is just the facts.

How did we celebrate this unfortunate proposed turn in our family affairs? We took a family "Get out of Dodge" vacation! We needed some time away from the daily doings and something to perk up our tired, winter spirits. We drove to Madison on Friday night and ate a late dinner at our favorite irish pub chain "Claddaugh". Beer was good, food was better and we laughed ourselves sleepy watching John Ross flirt with the couple next to us and dance to the live band. We checked into a beautiful mid-range hotel where they proceeded to upgrade us to a suite with a fridge and microwave for FREE. Yeah!

We woke on Saturday morning to a lovely, hot hotel breakfast and a swim in the pool which was equipped with a water play area just perfectly suited to our two small children. We went to lunch at another local favorite while we watched the Badger basketball team beat #1 Ohio State. Naps were in order and then we were off to drop the kids with their old nanny who lives downtown and offered to watch them so we could have a night out. All dressed up, we walked down State Street to a beautiful local and seasonal fine dining restaurant for a light meal of mussels and fresh pasta before attending a performance of the Madison Ballet. The second act of the ballet consisted of a local jazz artist and her band performing as the dancers interpretted. We had a lovely night's sleep and headed for home.

For my hubby, the whole situation mentioned above has left him (and by extension me) feeling powerless about our political life, our empolyment situation and our financial well-being. This seemingly insignificant trip gave us back a sense of having some input in our family life. More importantly it reminded us about what is most important in life and that is each other. We are not ultimately in control of our life, but must treat each other with love and compassion trusting that God's plans for us are for good and not evil.

***We didn't make the situation go away and we will keep fighting for our financial well-being. This is another one of those situations where a political leader is unable to serve the fullness of pro-life: both our moral values and our economic circumstances. It is not as clear cut as many make it out to be.

Going, Going, Gone...

Balance is a frightful thing.

A thing never completely achieved.

A sense never completely out of reach.

A soaring joy when right.

A sinking ache when wrong.

One finds herself waiting, waiting, waiting...

For when two plus nine = 8.

Two find themselves waiting, waiting...

When finally 1+1+1 = One.

Daybook January 2011

Outside My Window ...
Powdery white snow and slushy roads! Not so enticing for going to the office today.

***

I am listening to...
Curious George trying to clean a grape-juice stain. Otherwise, silence. Clara is sleeping and John Ross is glued to George.

***

To Live the Liturgy…
Arg...tough one...we're just trying to get to liturgy at this stage in the game. This past weekend we got to church early because we were visiting my mom and dad and with 9 adults, 2 little boys, and 2 baby carriers we have to save an entire ROW! While we were waiting for Mass to begin I walked John Ross around the church and we learned how to bless ourselves with holy water and we lit a candle. When I asked him what we were lighting the candle for he replied with a half-whisper, "Kera and Daad" known to the rest of the world as Clara and Dad.

***

To be Fit and Happy….
I met my goal last week and exceeded it including a long trip to the skating rink. Considering it is already Tuesday and I haven't even started towards this week's goal, I'm a bit trepidatious. I am hoping that after the kids are in bed and Kevin is at a meeting that perhaps I can sneak a workout in tonight.

***

I am thankful for ...
A babysitter that can flex to my crazy schedule this month. I have a lot of extra night and morning meetings and my usual sitter doesn't have the kind of flexibility I need. I am also grateful that she is willing to stay on for the semester in addition to my sister so mommy can focus on work during work time and home during home time!

***

From the kitchen ...
Homemade SCONES! So yummy, but made the small to help with the fit and happy side of me!!! Almond Chocolate Chip, Blackberry Lemon, and Honey Cranberry Pecan. Here's the base recipe!

***

I am creating ...
Materials for a women's event in February. My session is called "Touch Up Your Roots!

***

I am reading….
"A Year in the Life of Food" by Barbara Kingsolver. I am also trying to decide on a piece of fiction. I think I need to fall in love with fiction again. Reading for pleasure and I fell out of love during college and I think I need to challenge myself to give it some grace again. I need something substantial to lose myself in. Please do not suggest pop culture fiction...I'm only considering classics. Perhaps I'll revisit the Betsy-Tacy series of my youth!

***

Towards a real education ...
Challenging myself to find time for crafts and coloring WITH the kids. The kids regularly express their creativity, but I am making an effort to participate!

***

Bringing beauty to my home ...
Taking down our Christmas tree (after all, the official liturgical season is now over) and making our space cozy again. I'm also trying to bring some organization to our cupboards and rooms.

***

I am hoping and praying….
For inner peace and guidance as I continue to build my speaking and writing career. Keeping a balance between my family, my day job and my dream is tricky. Not knowing the exact future status of my day job doesn't help either. I am so grateful for my best friend and writing buddy who keeps me motivated and inspired and who has in many ways, paved the way mentally for my work. I couldn't do it without her solidarity and I am praying that our friendship will also provide a solid foundation for a good partnership.

***

Around the house ...
I'm simplifying. The less busy work, the better.

***

One of my favorite things ...
My new Vera Bradley netbook bag!!! My sister pulled my name at Christmas and I am beyond excited about it and have already given it quite the workout! It is the perfect combination for both work and home use!

***

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week:
Working and catching up after an amazing weekend with my family and grandparents who had flown in from AZ. Perhaps a mommy meeting to catch up with a good friend and get some freelance work done. I'm going to try to get a leg up on my to-do list so I can enjoy next weekend, which is also the last free weekend of the next 3 months!

***

The RED Hour

At our house the "red hour" is any hour in which preparation for an event departure takes place.

The most regular occurance of the "red hour" is Sunday mornings before Mass. Oddly enough, or perhaps not so oddly to you mamas and papas out there, the hour before Mass is probably one of my least holy of the week. As a sort of examination of collective conscience, let's review.

First Commandment (You shall have no other gods before Me)
Yes, there were several moments where I considered that skipping Mass might be easier than giving John Ross a last minute bath to extract the yogurt and maple syrup from his hair.

Second Commandment (You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain)
Yes, Clara's incesant whining has elicited several "Jimminy Cricket!"s and "Good Lord!"s from my otherwise careful mouth.

Third Commandment (Honor the Sabbath)
Yes, I work for the church and have been known to work on Sundays. Working on Sunday is not so much the issue as is the fact that I don't take equivalent time later in the week to focus on quality family time. I have been known to get myself so wrapped up in my work, the laundry, the bills, and the family errands that I have neglected to make myself free to love my family and take time to rest. Even after creating the world (and you can bet God knew how badly we were going to mess it up by the next day), God took time to rest.

Fourth Commandment (Honor your father and mother)
Yes, I have neglected my role as mother by denying the importance of my spiritual life. I have not treated myself with patience and given myself the necessary prayer time with God.

Fifth Commandment (You shall not kill)
Yes, I have barked retorts and ordered my husband into action in a frustrated attempt to get us out the door on time. I have treated him with disrespect and killed his otherwise cheerful weekend demeanor.

Sixth Commandment (You shall not commit adultery)
Yes, I have put clean toddler tights and trousers ahead of my husband's pants. I have put my children and my need for community approval ahead of his needs.

Eighth Commandment (You shall not bear false witness)
Yes, I have been know to offer my children the example of a sarcastic comment such as, "Oh yeah, you're daddy is such help!", when in fact he deserves great admiration in their presence.

Ninth (You shall not covet your neighbor's wife)
Yes, in haste I have neglected my appearance and worn both jeans and oatmeal. In inattention I have dressed immodestly for the occassion of Mass with a dress that was perhaps too fitted or a skirt that was too short. I have not acted intentionally to protect the integrity of my husband and others.

Seventh Commandment (You shall not steal) and Tenth Commandment (You shall not covet thy neighbor's goods)
Yes, I have been known to take the last cup of coffee to soothe my Sunday morning nerves. I have also been known to get frustrated at the amount of time it takes my husband to get ready, not because of the time but because I want it too...

All jest aside, my examination proves our imperfection as parents. However, as my husband has so aptly and lovingly pointed out recently, we don't want to set the stage for Mass inside the "red hour". Mass is a celebration and most families don't like to start a celebration with an arguement in the car on the way over.

This weekend let's work together to have a collective "white hour". That is, an hour of peaceful preparation and loving interactions. And if it means we have to start early, so be it.

I'm setting the alarm for 4 a.m...:)

Yes, I Own a CSA Share and Still Shop at Sams Club

A contradiction you say? Not in our family.

I have a very clear moral base which is informed by my faith and my own study. That being said, I am very much a centrist on a lot of issues. I don't believe in the relative concept of "to each his own", but I do believe that everything in life is a balance.

I am on the fence between two extremes in a lot of areas of my life. I believe my number one vocation is family love, but I love to work and believe it is important. I believe that breastfeeding is best for babies, but I pumped and partially formula fed my babies from an early age. I own a half share in a CSA farm and I shop at Sams Club.

First and foremost, we live in Wisconsin. We cannot get fresh produce of any kind here for 4-6 months out of the year without shipping it in. Yet, healthy eating is a very significant core value of our family. This includes a lot of fresh/flash frozen produce and fresh meat and fish. Anyone who has learned the trick of shopping only the perimeter of the grocery store knows how pricey that can get. At Sams I can get more fresh spinach, fresh fruit, and fresh vegetables for my buck than anywhere else. I can also get plenty of eggs, yogurt, and milk for my growing family.

That is my second point. Even if we could get produce here year round from CSA, we couldn't afford it. Anyone who wants to go local/natural has to be willing to pay for it. While it is a priority for us as a family, we have to balance that with the priority of me working parttime and my vocation to church work. Both of these priorities prevent us from going all organic because of the cost.

Furthermore, Sams Club/Walmart corporation provides a lot of jobs and benefits to people in our community and keeps a lot of money moving in our community. CSA does as well in different ways, but to say that one is better than the other from an economic standpoint is fruitless. In today's day and age different people have different needs. We cannot all afford natural/organic, but we all deserve to afford a healthly lifestyle. CSA offers one option and Sams Club/Walmart offers another. This way, everyone has the option to eat healthy if they make it a priority.

(Side note: While some may contest my statement of "everyone has the option to eat healthy", I stand by it. Certainly it may be cheaper to eat a burger of the dollar menu, but I also know how cheap and easy it is to make a kettle of soup or chili that will feed our family of 3 eaters for 3+ meals. Cheapest does not mean that something more expensive isn't affordable and let's not even go into the healthcare costs that go along with the supposed "cheapest" option.)

The food supply chain in our family requires a balance between local, seasonal, and affordable. I am proud that we've made nutrition a family value. I am proud that I have found a way to shop and cook in the best interest of the loves of my life.

Why God Created Pomegranates

It has been a busy week around here. We hosted a 5-course wine and cheese tasting for my co-workers at the parish. Christmas is really rough on all parish staff and most events in December are just an extra thing on the calendar. This event was for all of us to get together, drink, eat, and laugh. There were about 10 people and the menu included curried butternut soup, beef roast, potatoes 3-ways, and a trio of sumptuous desserts. A lovely time was had by all, but especially by my creative side!!! This was another great consequence of my exit from Facebook!

An event I was supposed to speak at this weekend was rescheduled which was a wonderful treat! Instead of a Saturday away from my family we had breakfast together and visited a local farm who was hosting their annual "seed day". This farm offers community supported agriculture (CSA). We toured the farm and said hello the their chickens, dog, and beef cattle. We tasted some wonderful canned goods from last year's harvest and signed up for a half share of produce for the next growing season! We are all set to receive a box of produce a week starting in early June and running through the end of the harvest!! We are very excited to support local produce farming and enjoy some free range chicken and eggs!!! It was great to have some say in what was going to be planted this year!!!

We returned home a bit late for lunch. We were well into naptime by the time I got John Ross in his chair and although I fed him in stages to help prevent a meltdown, I was only mildly successful. As he worked on his grilled cheese, I was trying to peel a pomegranate (yes, I know...pomegranate? Not exactly local produce...more on my view on that in a later post) and remove the pareils. Amidst his yelling and whining I found myself saying to Kevin, "God created pomegranates simply to frustrate humans. I bet He just sits up there and chuckles!"

Kevin responded, "No, God created pomegranates to teach humans patience."

He's is Two Going on Three!

My little man is TWO! In the spirit of a tradition I have seen many blogger mom's keep, this post is dedicated to my firstborn son, the fruit of my womb, and the source of my very first gray hair.

Two years ago our lives changed forever. The miracle of life and the glory of heaven was never closer than the very moment our son took his first breath. When he arrived he did so without a sound. He didn't cry at the abrupt end to his warm, gentle existence, but quietly took in the new world around him. His big, brown eyes captured my heart and instantly ushered us into the era of a "brave new family".

Active in the womb, he hasn't stopped since. He is all boy and coming from a family of all girls mommy has been at the disadvantage! He loves wrestling with his daddy and his uncle Matt (my brother, who was adopted, is 5).

As active as he is, we call him our "little mommy". He has always been very empathetic. He feels what I feel and what Kevin feels. As an infant, I had to be very aware of my own stress, anxiety, and frustration as it was amplified in his behavior. To this day my approach to Sunday Mass is patterned in his behavior during Mass. Talk about a mood-meter! His little "feelers" are easily hurt by any perceived slight on his part or the part of others.

He is very attentive to his sister and is overly concerned about her well-being. If we invite him to dinner or to bed he is insistent that there is a plan for Clara. He has taken it upon himself to see to the well-being of Grandma's current foster baby. His baby doll has now taken on the baby's name and is lovingly placed in Clara's baby swing, baby seat, and exersaucer.

John Ross loves dinosaurs and trains and any combination of the two! Concidentally (NOT) his favorite TV shows are Dnosaur Train and Thomas the Tank Engine. Curious George is currently gaining on the former, but since he can't re-enact the antics of one curious monkey it may require a bit more imagination than he is ready for! John Ross loves his books when he is in his bed by himself, but is not one to be read to as of yet.

His sweet demeanor and quiet focus intrigues me daily. He will often "nap" for 3+ hours in the afternoon. Certainly a couple of hours are spent sleeping, but from infancy he would spend large periods of time laying and thinking. Somedays we'll walk in and find him sprawled out with his books while others he'll just be lying there with his hands behind his head. I often wonder what is happening behind his beautiful brown eyes.

He has always been very independent much to the chagrin of a mama who wanted to snuggle her first baby. However, the age of two has rung in a new era of snuggling. At random points of the day he will siddle up to me when I am working and attempt to push all other items from my reach. With a furrowed brow and an insistent, "Snuh?" he crawls up into my lap. Somedays he'll pull the blanket up over us. There we will sit, Mama reveling in the affection, for anywhere between 10-20 minutes watching a cartoon or show. As I mentioned before, he is not one for books...yet.

In the last couple of months his speech has exploded to included words like "engine" and "yuck" and phrases like "Where'd it go?" and "I don't know!" My absolute least favorite word is "MAM!" This very Irish version of an endearment for mother has become, in his little mouth, not a noun but a verb. It is a verb that demands action from wherever he is in the house. In fact, at Christmas we discovered that this is a verb that demands action from whatever female caretaker is closet. "MAM!" was used on both his grandma and his aunties.

"Scoopy", as we lovingly call him, is going to eat us out of house and home before he is 5. Tall and solid from birth, he rarely turns down food and consumes virtually every bite with gusto! He "mmmmm"s and "yummm"s and anxiously laughs his way through everything I fix and has recently taken a great interest in the food preparation process. I have suspicions that it has to do more with the pre-dinner bites that are involved, but at least I know that he will never starve!

He wears his heart on his sleeve and no one can claim that he hides his feelings. His expressions are truly priceless although I think Hallmark would pay a pretty penny for some of them. Many of them include very coordinated mouth and eyebrow movements. Surprised and confused are two of my favorites.

I see his heritage in him at every moment of everyday. Seeing his papa and my papa in him, I can't help but reflect upon what a blessing he has been upon our marriage. This is why God calls married couples to children. His creativity, love and determination are our future. His big brown eyes will see this world to a new and better place. I believe that in him our legacy of faithfullness and trust will live long beyond my earthly years.

May you always know our love and the love of your Father, my son. May you know that you never walk alone as I will always be in your heart.

100 Posts! Here's to You Woman at the Inkwell!!!

Wow...

I started this blog in 2006 as an outlet for my writing inspirations and as a way of staying in touch with all those who have touch my life. Having done that and built and deepened a few new friendships in addition, I am very blessed.

It has been a great 5 years and 100 posts. That may not seem like a lot for the amount of time, but throw in a couple of a jobs, a wedding, and 2 children and I am feeling quite accomplished!

As I said at the beginning my writing philosphy is that it is as much about the reader as it is about the writer. Writing is the beginning of a dialogue, spoken and unspoken. I am grateful for your readership, your comments, and your prayers.

If you're so inclined and have a bit of that bubbly stuff left from the holiday (or even just a sip of cold coffee), lift your glass! Here's to us!