26 September, 2006

"Our" Engagement Ring

So I have been having a difficult time adjusting to my engagement ring. I mean, it is unbelievable. It is far more beautiful than I ever could have imagined and I am a very blessed woman. My sweetheart picked it out himself. I had very little to do with it other than the expression of a few preferences. It is a true and complete gift of self. He knows me well enough and I trust him deep enough to ask him to choose that gift and symbol for me and for us.

Maybe that is why I am having a difficult time adjusting. It is not mine. It is ours. It symbolizes what we want to do with our life together. It symbolizes our assent to God's will for our life. Our free gifts of self to one another: his offer and my acceptance. I wear it as an outward sign of his great generosity and love and my acceptance and commitment to that love and the love my own heart.

Not only have I had to think about "mine" versus "ours", but I have had to think about how permanent it is. This ring will, for all general purposes, never leave my hand from this point forward. I've worn rings before. When I was 16, dating age in our house, my dad gave me a promise ring. I promised to protect my chastity and my purity and to pray for my future spouse. Everyday I wore that ring I was reminded of that promise. However, that promise was a promise that led to something else. It was a temporary promise, to be replaced by the ring and promise of my engagement and marriage. That day has come. This is permanent. And I am so blessed, but a bit overwhelmed by its permenancy.

I've always used Shakespeare's line, "forever and a day," as a trite and cute reference point, but in the last few weeks as my beloved and I have approached and entered this engagement, I truly understand the beauty of that statement.

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